In Love: Positive
by Auto-Alchemechanicist
Summary: Post CoS.Closing the gate wasn't as easy as it looked.What kept them going was dreams.She lived by seeing his face in her eyes;he tried returning due to the promise he made her.Separated for 4 years,can they come together again if worlds come b/w them?
1. D r e a m s

_Hello everyone. I'll make this short so that I don't bore you. I though of this in my 5th period class while watching a rather boring video. Anyways, this is told through Winry's perspective and let's just says it's steamy. This is a huge warning. It's kind of…horny. There, I said it. Well, hope you enjoy and please, review also. It doesn't take that long to leave a comment. What does it take like one minute? Anyways, on with the story…_

_Disclaimer to all chapters: I don't own FMA. If I did, I would have done the sequel of CoS from my idea. _

_Rated: T+(x2) for scenes._

_Warning: Angst, romance, EdXWinry involved. (Like that's obvious.)_

_**Maybe continued.**_

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_**Summary:  
**_

___Connection: Dreams. That's what kept them going. By imagining his face in her eyes, she could live. By promising her that he would return, he would try. Separated for four years, could they come together again, even if worlds come between them?_

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_**In Love: Positive**_

**Dreams**

It was a quiet night. The light breeze blew through my open widow, touching my warm skin, cooling it as it went into my room. It made me shiver. That confused me. How could the soft wind get through my senses, making me get goose-bumps? Instantly, I wrapped myself with my blanket like a cocoon to keep the cold out. Was it always supposed to be like this? Did the air in September have to be chilly?

This caused my heart to accelerate. Just great. I knew what was coming now. The reason why I was always so tired in the morning and at midday; the terrible feeling that I would receive when I would see the unwanted images that felt so right to me. The only purpose I cried at night vigorously, leaving my eyes red and irritated when the sun would hit my face, signaling me that it was time to wake up, was coming and was somehow neutral about the debate of its arrival.

Although it has been 4 years since I've seen them, I still couldn't help but dream about them. Or _him_ at least. I couldn't seem to forget them, either. It's too inevitable and irresistible. The fantasies, they are so inviting, so hypnotic, and so strange. It's as if they were in my subconscious just to mock me.

I felt my eyelids flutter open and hot tears well up in my eyes; they ran down my face with a hurried pace. I looked around my dark bedroom, trying extra hard to notice if anything was out of place. If I had to check anything, it would be if _he_ was in my room, at this very moment, just a few inches away from me. I craned my head to my left side and directed my attention to the open window I had forgotten to close due to my haste of wanting to go to sleep. I was too tired and too lazy to form some energy to close my window. That's what I get for going to sleep late. And this is what I get for not closing my window!

Even through the black, moonless night, I could detect his silhouette form sitting on my chair, his eyes looking straight into mine. How disappointing. Last time he visited me, he was only five centimeters away from my face; now his distance was probably four or five feet from me.

I unwrapped the upper part of my body so that I could sit up, trying to keep my eyes on him, desperately trying not to lose my focus I had on him. He stood up, pushing the chair in back of him, removing it from my sight. I blinked nervously. I felt stupid as more tears cascaded like a waterfall down my flushed cheeks in front of him. Perplexed as I was I did not expect to feel what I was about to feel at this moment.

I thought he would furrow his eyebrows and demand to know why I was crying. He couldn't handle anyone when they cried, especially me. Instead, he showed a small, but sincere smile, making me show a shy grin myself. He would sometimes do this when he would unexpectedly come to see me at night. But this also felt different. He was way out of my reach, smirking with great pleasure (almost as if he was glad to see me), he didn't comment on why I was crying all of a sudden, and he let me cry, not trying to get me to stop. This was not like him. What was wrong here? Who is this man and what has he done to the Edward I know, care for, and…

Could I have finished that thought only if he had not stepped forward, sat on my bed, and began to draw closer to me. I surprisingly responded and came closer to him, removing my bed sheet from my legs and crawling to where he was. My calm breaths began to speed up. I was too close to him, too close to his face, his eyes, his lips. They were so full and desirable, so luscious and yummy. I couldn't control myself and I guess it might have been impossible for him to keep a straight face of his own considering how close we were.

Without hesitation, I kneeled next to him and grabbed his shirt, closing the gap between our lips. He did not argue or show resistance. He kissed me back, a reaction I did not anticipate of him either. I wrapped my arms around his neck, continuing to kiss him wildly. I felt his left arm snake around my waist, and his cold, automail hand run down my back, sending a pool of shock waves through my entire body. I kissed him harder, almost biting his lips, unable to hold back my feelings I had kept secret for eleven years. My breathing turned into quick pants as he hugged me even closer to him, laying me down on the soft mattress. He began to kiss me hungrily, too, drying my fresh tears with his beautiful mouth. He left kisses on my tomato red cheeks, took my lips every few seconds, ran through my jaw line, and nibbled on my neck.

His hands were like magic, caressing my arms, my torso, and my face, and tangling them in my long, sweaty hair. I did the same to him. My fingers undid his golden plait, playing with his perfect mane. They also ran down his throat and shoulders, letting me notice that he had a shirt on. Well, I would just have to help him get rid of it. My hands tugged on the top button of his red shirt. How nervous I was that I couldn't concentrate enough to keep my fingers from shaking and how distracted I was that I couldn't remember how to unbutton a shirt, I couldn't tell. But I finally got it. His shirt came off easily, revealing his flawlessly sculpted muscles and chest. We broke away from our untamed kissing for a few seconds, a chance to let me appreciate his gorgeous body. My hands strayed to his chest again, and he caught my lips lovingly. I had not caught enough air during the two second break; the sight of his upper body left me even more breathless. Yet I didn't care if I suffocated at this moment. I was with him, something that I've wanted for a more than a decade, something I had dreamed of for eleven years. However, this stood out from all the other desires that I have had. I didn't think twice about this. I liked this. I enjoyed it. Should I have cared for the outcome if it were someone else that was here on my bed, but I didn't really pay attention to the result if Edward was here.

We sat up again, touching one another's hot skin and hearing each other's heartbeat break into a frenzy as Edward lied down on the bed, letting me be on top of him. He grabbed fistfuls of my locks, pulling on them lightly causing me to gasp. His hands descended to my shoulders where my night gown's straps rested. He pulled them down my arms, almost removing my pajamas, leaving them midway, letting them hang on to my elbows. How playful he was, my little Ed. He wanted me to finish the job for him. But neither of us had to complete the "assignment". My silky night gown began to slide down on its own. I felt him kiss my shoulder blades with care as I got to kiss his neck. Then, I encountered _his_ shoulder blades. How strong and muscular they appeared to be yet so delicate and sensitive. His right one in particular. Although his torso was perfect in most ways, it was shadowed by many battle scars scattered around. Then, there was his automail shoulder. Where the mechanical limb begins, the shoulder plate is connected to his nerves so he could be able to move his arm; same thing with his left leg. With wariness, I would kiss that shoulder so it wouldn't hurt.

But as I prepared myself to capture his lips once again, I felt something that didn't belong. Something cold, the wind perhaps? The cool breeze that seemed to blow in distracted me for a mere second. And in that mere second, three things happened. First, I couldn't feel Edward's warm and soft body anymore; it was icy, tough, and hard. Second, I couldn't see that certain fire that was always in his eyes; that flame was put out. And third, my head felt heavy, making me retreat to my pillow so I could rest my aching skull. How did this happen? How did my beautiful fantasy diminish and shatter into little tiny pieces? How did everything crash down? I screamed carelessly, indifferent if I woke my grandmother or not. The sudden pain in my head was killing me and my chest felt too hot even though the brisk air was pounding on it roughly with its wintry contents. The way my dream fell apart was probably the most horrifying sight I had ever laid my eyes on. Both my head and chest throbbed harshly, making me think that I was actually going to die. I blinked rapidly, trying to rid my eyes of the unnecessary perspiration that descended down my all too heated cheeks. Through my flashing eyelids, I saw Edward get up from my bed, retrieve and put on his shirt, give me a kiss on my sweaty forehead with his frosty lips, and walk out–or better yet jump out–of my room through the window. As my eyelids fell to close my eyes shut, my head began to lose the throbbing pain, although it did not calm my chest pain down.

With vulnerability, I opened my eyes carefully as if there was a huge, scary monster in front of me, ready to attack when it saw that I was weak enough. What my mind had shown was not real. The scenes that had just occurred had not really happened. They were projected in my brain to be a pain-reliever, but also worsen the pain. How cruel my own mentality was with me. Oh, I despise the stupid irony! I wish I could destroy it and bury it, let it rot in the ground, and let the decomposing bacteria finish it off. Am I going mad, though? Personifying a literal element while being upset? I must be losing my mind, thinking of something so unessential to how I feel right now. Or could it be that I need it? Could I need the mockery? While in love with someone who's not even here? I must need everything since _everything is _lost. Spirit, heart, soul, body, mind…but what about hope? Could _that_ be lost? No, could _I_ lose it? Would that be possible to lose something that I don't really have? How strange I am to ask this.

I looked around and found everything was in its place, even the chair that Edward had sat on. My sheets covered my entire body like I had placed them when I felt the cool air enter my room. The only difference was that my pillow was soggy and damp, my cheeks were covered with tears, and my forehead was full of perspiration. I knew it. Another mockery by my own subconscious. Even though I know that I'm strong and I would get through this, I felt that I wasn't strong enough and that I couldn't get through this. Not right now at least. So I cried my heart out, letting all my tears run my eyes dry of their never ending ocean and my pain escape me for the night.

"Oh God, no. This wasn't real. It was just a dream. A stupid, delicious, mocking dream. I can't do this. I can't keep living like this every night. My eyes are tired of crying and exhausted of seeing the similar scenery. Can't I get rid of them? I don't want this anymore. I can't handle it." My blubbering was a strange ringing sound, even to my own ears. No wonder Edward doesn't like to be around tear-shedding people; it's annoying! I don't know if I could go on like this for another night. For if I dream like this again, I may stay in the dream and never feel the need to wake up. In the morning, I would grow tired and travel to the tree that Edward, Alphonse and I used to play on to stare out into the distance to study my recent, disturbing dream.

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_I just love it when I get to torture a character. It's like I feel their pain. I hope you enjoyed. Believe it or not –and not even I believe it –I was inspired by the boredom caused by the video I saw. It was about jobs that do not concern or interest me. I don't like animals or agriculture or anything related to the outdoors. I'm more into the medical field. Anyways, R/R, please! Thank you for your time! Chao, babies!_

_-Auto-Alchemechanicist-_


	2. D a w n

_Hello, everyone! Happy Easter. Hope you had a good one. I sure did. Anyways, as you all can tell this is a continuation of the first chapter. This is considered chapter 2, the second part, the sequel (not really), the next part, or 'numero dos'. Yeah. Anyways, this is still through Winry's eyes, but then, yours and my favorite alchemist may tell his side, but on a later chapter._

_The biggest thanks and hugs to my first reviewers:_ _AliasAurora_, _alchemichelper101_, _and NICE. Thank you for your comments. You helped me get my enthusiasm to write another chap! This is to you! Hope you like it! Hope you _all_ like it._

_Rated T for language_

_Warning: Angst, memories, and emotional pain are included. On with the story now…_

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_**Previously on In Love: Positive...**_

_I don't know if I could go on like this for another night. For if I dream like this again, I may stay in the dream and never feel the need to wake up. In the morning, I would grow tired and travel to the tree that Edward, Alphonse and I used to play on to stare out into the distance to study my recent, disturbing dream._

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**Dawn**

I did not sleep after my dream. Tears turned into shock, but even after I could shed them no more for the night, I could not get my eyes to close. This was by far, the strongest fantasy I have had about Edward. The most innocent dream my subconscious had brought into my mind was that Ed and I were little tykes, maybe five years old, playing in the river. I never imagined I would dream like this about him. I was shaking –the kind you would think someone was shivering because of the cold –out of pure astonishment. Then, I felt something hit my face.

It felt hot, but not even by getting burned would I close my eyes. It was blinding and I wanted to turn away, but I couldn't. Why should I when I know I wouldn't survive another night like this? I would just let this cruel white light consume me whole so that I would not keep experiencing this pain anymore.

I heard a firm knock on my door. Obviously granny. She knew the drill: wake Winry up before she kills herself. That was always her morning plan, and even though she has never voiced it out loud in my hearing range, I could still hear her silent screams of concern. And why shouldn't she worry? Since Edward and Alphonse left four years ago, it's been nothing but uncontrollable sobs, uncomfortable dreams, and surprising diligence from me. I'm surprised granny is able to handle all of that. And I'm surprised I haven't died because of all this depression. Times for me have been hard and even though I try –and I honestly do –to move on and have a nice life (not a happy one, but a nice one at least) my brain, eyes, and heart cannot visualize that. They control me and I follow. It's the only thing that's worth doing.

"Winry, time to wake up," I heard granny say.

I didn't respond. I knew my voice would quiver, signaling her that I had cried. And she would know it would be because of him. Or my dreams about him. I didn't turn either. I wanted the hot sun to kill me now so that neither of us would continue to suffer.

I heard my door open. I also heard foot steps; they came closer and I felt someone's presence. I inhaled that tobacco infested smell that was generated by my grandmother's pipe. So, it was one of _those _days? The ones when my granny and I would have to talk when I woke up. How fun. Especially if I start my own water works when she would ask her questions.

"You…dreamt about him again, didn't you?" She sounded reluctant to ask, but for her it was necessary to show concern. But she didn't need an answer. She already knew it. The same one. The simplest one. The one that she and I had memorized. Yes, yes I had. And I regret it ever since. I wish I hadn't had that…that…that disgusting scenery in my head. It only makes it worse. It feeds the fire in me. It fuels the bomb that's about to explode. It's the cruel punishment that I receive for not telling him how I feel. That I care for him deeply; that I miss him so much; that I love him…with all my heart.

And right on cue my tears came cascading down my cheeks. Again. For the billionth time in a row. I could give the exact number of times I have cried, but I'd lie. I lost count on day 5, and that was four years ago.

Out of my own free will I turned to face my granny. Her eyes showed defeat and exhaustion, fed up by my behavior that did not wish to change. Her eyebrows displayed an upset expression, saddened by the fact that her granddaughter was crying over a guy that was not with her. Do you consider that pathetic or do you want more points? Pathetic in a way that you cry when you hear, see, or speak his name? Pathetic in a way that you are reminded about him by working? Pathetic by remembering him when you hear about the state alchemists on the radio news, wondering if he's being careful during a mission? Pathetic in a way that you would consider thinking that he would all of a sudden pop out of Central City when you go once a month to work over there? Pathetic in a way that you feel like electricity might flow out from a circle, complex or simple, just by clapping your hands and placing them on it gently?

It was useless to think of any way possible that he would actually return to me. He was gone for good…and I couldn't do anything about it. I couldn't perform alchemy because I didn't know the first thing about it. I couldn't ask any of the alchemists I knew (General Mustang and Lieutenant Colonel Armstrong mostly) to teach me or create a portal to somehow bring them back. I couldn't do anything and that's what killed my hope. That's what killed me inside: knowing that those two wouldn't return tore me apart.

I lifted myself off my pillow, sitting up so that I would fully awaken, unwrapping myself from my cocoon-like sheets so the fresh morning air would make its way to my heated skin. I looked down at my legs, not wanting to meet my granny's gaze for now.

"Winry, you have to stop doing this." She repeated to me what she had said yesterday and the day before that and the days following the past until they met up to a week after the date when Ed and Al had left.

But this day cannot be compared to those first seven days of my allotted hell. The days when no one would dare look at my face or bother to consulate me. No one would try anything because they knew what was wrong. And they didn't want to make it worse. They knew that it was good to give me time, until they got annoyed by my unstoppable sobs. Lieutenant Hawkeye was the first one to crack, well not really crack; more like build up the courage to face me and have a girl-to-girl-talk. Because she knew the pain I was going through. She sympathized for me because she got upset over General Mustang's departure to the north of Central. And she knew that it was hard to let go of someone you truly loved. I had gone through that pain once. But Ed and Al were there to suffer with me. This suffering, however, didn't include their company. I had to go through it alone this time.

But I honestly thought I would be stronger. _Everyone_ thought I would be stronger. To get over the brothers' departure and move on soon enough to have a life. But it was a pure surprise to the entire world, or the world that knew me, that I was not over them yet. And I wouldn't get over them anytime soon. They are an essential part of my life that needs to be incorporated in it. I can't just simply forget about them. No way! They are my brothers, my family, and my best friends. Al: my smile and joy; Ed: my passion and love. Those two are hard to throw away. And even if I did exaggerate over them, well over Ed, they all either had to live with it or get the guts to kill me, over Mustang's and Armstrong's dead bodies.

After Riza's attempts to talk to me, Roy and Armstrong gave it a try. It was quite awkward for them, I could tell, but they still gave a rather blunt speech. With stutters included. They couldn't get over the fact that I was actually in love with Edward. I had to admit it to them after I broke down when they and Mustang's subordinates gathered at the spot where Scheska and I were. It was embarrassing, but I couldn't contain myself. They promised that they would visit once a month to give us a little company. But I knew what their game was; they wanted to keep a special eye on me in case I did anything stupid. And I was daring enough to set them off.

It was all a routine now.

"I can't," I finally answered.

"Don't you get it, Winry? This is not good for you. You have to see that all this unnecessary pain is affecting you greatly. Now, I want to help you, but you have to do your part in this so that you can get through—"

"Yeah, well maybe I don't want to be helped!" I cut her off. That was all I had to say. My voice cracked and I began to cry. I shook again, but this time calmly. Wow. I was _that_ pathetic?

"Don't you raise your voice at me, young lady," she said firmly.

"I. Don't. Want. Help," I replied, each word treating it as a sentence, like a syllable in a word.

"Quit comporting yourself like a child. You're old enough to act like the adult you should be!"

"Well, maybe I don't want to be an adult. Maybe I want to be the child that you say I am!"

"It would be easier to take care of a stubborn five year old instead of a whining twenty-two year old."

"Well then, adopt another granddaughter because apparently this one is not that right for you!"

"Maybe I will."

"Maybe you should."

"Alright, then help yourself. Cry as much as you want because I can't take it anymore."

"Well, who said you have to keep up with me? You know you could just ignore me."

"Is that what you want then?"

I laid myself down again and placed my hands over my face.

"Leave me alone to die," I told my grandmother. I think she was crying or fuming. Either one, her voice was shaking.

"Fine, then I guess I won't bother anymore," I heard her walk away, not intending to comfort me like she would usually do. Because it was not part of the routine we had set up. Because I broke that routine.

I took in a sharp breath. Why do I have to be so hard-headed? Now everyone is tired of me, even my own grandmother! She'd rather take care of a five year old that put up with me. Was I really that bad?

I continued to cry. The tears were never ending, almost as if the faucet in my eyes had been broken.

I felt terrible. How…how could I say that to granny? I'm so ungrateful. All she's doing is trying to help her desperate granddaughter get a hold of herself. Yet I'm here –that desperate granddaughter –yelling at her.

I recovered from my tear-shedding scene a few minutes after granny and I held our quarrel. I wasn't really thinking on what I was doing or saying. I was just upset and I wanted to take it out on something. But I didn't intend to take it out on my poor little granny.

The sun was irritating me. Burning and regretting do not go together. So after I realized that the sun was hitting my back harshly, I got out of bed, made it, and dressed myself in my working attire. I made a trip to the bathroom to take care of some things and wash my flushed-tear-drowned face. The purple bags under my eyes were getting worse by the day. But I was the only one to notice since I had asked for granny's opinion and she told me that they weren't noticeable; everyone had bags under their eyes. But I did manage to apply a bit of make-up on that area. Although I was careful. I didn't want to get wrinkles at my age.

As I walked out of the now considered "ladies room", I tied my bandanna around the top of my head as always. I had my eyes half open since they were in pain from too much sleep deprivation. But I had to work. Many people need mechanical limbs. Like…–oh no, don't think, don't you dare think about–…Edward. It was difficult to resist, but I failed to fight back. By the time I rounded the corner of the living room leading to the shop, I had glazed eyes. If they felt like hot tears and they looked like hot tears, then they are hot tears.

But I saw granny there on the table, working with furrowed eyebrows and tears sliding down her cheeks. That worry came back to me. I hurt my grandmother. So bad I caused her to cry. That's not fair to her. She doesn't deserve to cry over me like I do over Edward. Damn it! What have I turned into? I hurt not only myself, but the people that surround me as well.

I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't stand watching my granny cry like this.

"Granny?" I choked out.

I surprised her since she jumped a bit when she heard my croak.

"What, you've come to tell me some more of your crap or is your appearance enough?" Her hurt tone was obviously telling me that she didn't mean any of the words she was telling me.

I hurriedly walked over to her, knelt down, and embraced her so tight that I even felt that she was suffocating. But she kept breathing and hugged me back because we both needed the comfort.

"I'm sorry, granny," I begged.

"It's al…right," she managed to choke out.

"No, it's not. You're right; I can't keep living like this. But it's inevitable. I can't resist it, granny. It's unavoidable."

"Okay, then I'll keep dealing with your attitude."

"You don't have to, granny."

"Yes, I do."

I backed up a little to see my granny's face. She was still crying. And it takes a whole lot of shit to make her crack like this. This shit was that kind. The one I was giving her. The one I should be swallowing.

"I'm sorry for raising my voice at you. I really am worse than a five year old."

"And I'm sorry for not understanding. I have to take care of you, don't I? I have to do it right."

I didn't know what to respond to my grandmother after that. So I hugged her again with a smile upon my face, a rare expression for me nowadays.

"Okay, Winry. We can hug later. Let's get started on work. You do want to go out today, don't you?"

She knew me too well and I couldn't really deny what she said. I stood a moment later so I could stop depriving my granny from working and so that I could get started on my own.

I didn't have too many customers today, so I would have time to wander around. I just wish _he_ was one of my customers and I longed for _his_ company so we could _both_ wander about the village together.

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_So, yeah, I hope you enjoyed. I know it's a little twisted, but I like to do things different around here. I never really see a grandma-granddaughter fight, so I wanted to see how that came out. I personally enjoyed writing Pinako's and Winry's fight. It was new, but I would never fight with my granny like that. She'd break my teeth if I talk back to her. _

_R/R, plz! Support is love!  
_

_-Auto-Alchemechanicist- _


	3. C r u s h

_Okay, brief A/N: I dedicated my time to write this lengthy chapter because I notice that I don't update often so I want to give you all a treat! I hope you enjoy and leave a comment. Like I said, it doesn't take that long to leave one. Anyways, let's move on…_

_I consider this a small reward after taking the TAKS on Thursday. Thank you so much to my reviewers:_ _icechampion and alchemichelper101! You guys rock! Hope you like this one!_

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_**Previously on In Love: Positive...**_

_I didn't have too many customers today, so I would have time to wander around. I just wish _he_ was one of my customers and I longed for _his_ company so we could _both_ wander about the village together. _

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**Crush**

I watched the clock as my last customer left the shop with a brand new automail arm. I felt the need to smile, but my lips didn't recognize the action anymore. I had the rest of the day off so I might as well start wasting it right now.

I went up to the 'ladies room' to shower and change into fresh clothes. A yellow sleeveless, button blouse with a brown sweater, dark blue jeans and light brown flats was my choice. My low ponytail was picked up by a clip, making my long locks look spiky. Sonic-the-hedgehog spiky. I didn't bother try to sculpt it since I wouldn't really interact with anyone other than my granny and Den.

I told my granny that I was heading out and took Den by his leash to start our walk.

I somehow felt different. As if something spontaneous were to happen today. Like a visit. Maybe an early inspection from the Brady—I mean military— bunch. I just can't help wonder why they want to keep an eye on me. I'm not that stupid to kill myself. Or are they worried that I can't cope with the brothers' departure yet? I'm pathetic, not hopeless. Well, not yet either. But I can take care of myself. Besides they brought this upon themselves. They made me admit what I was thinking. And I regret doing that yet at the same time, I feel relieved that they know how I feel. It's better this way. I get to talk to someone else other than Granny or Den. However, I can't help wish that none of this would have ever occurred, even if I would have died sooner, but still.

I noticed I was half way to my destination and my mind wandered to the last time when I saw my love. The day he left forever, never to return. The day my troubles started…

I saw him on that incredible flying machine, directing his attention to his brother and the General and then boarding it once more. It broke my heart. He was actually leaving. Not just his world or his love of alchemy, but also me. Wasn't I important to him? Wasn't I reason enough for him to stay? Don't my feelings matter here? And to make it worse, he was going alone! Alphonse and General Mustang were on a platform, already inching away form the aircraft. That was it then? Was he never to return?

I stood motionless, staring at the shuttle, ignoring Scheska's presence, thinking of a million ways to possibly stop Edward from leaving. But I knew they would be useless. I was an automail mechanic, not a miracle worker! Running would do no good because I could never reach the height he was on. I couldn't fly since I consider the belief of superpowers to be childish. And I couldn't stretch to where he was because I was not made of rubber. So would I give up, let him go just like that? What else could I do?

I felt my eyes twinkle. The feeling of loss hit me strongly on my face. If Edward left right now, I would never see him again. If he left, I wouldn't make the best automail for the best state alchemist. If he left now, I would have lost half of my life. He would be taking a part of me with him, though I would have no part of him with me.

Scheska and I watched as the shuttle began to fly away. It was as if it didn't want for me to reach it even though it knew I could never be able to. But it rubbed it in my face anyway.

"That's Ed. I know it," I said, my voice almost breaking. I spoke in a low voice, afraid my vocal cords would betray my perfectly positioned mask.

"So…I guess this is goodbye for good." My eyes twinkled harder—I thought the movement as violent for eye motion—though I attempted to avoid my tears to escape my eyes.

I felt Scheska's gaze on me, but I didn't bother to respond. Why should I when I was so breakable at the moment?

I closed my eyes for about ten seconds and opened them again so that I could start walking. Where? I wouldn't know. All I knew was that I wanted to get away from the departure scene as soon as possible. If I stayed there where I was with Scheska, I would surely break down. I didn't want that.

"Winry, where are you going?" she asked me with curiosity.

I didn't answer. It wasn't my intention to be rude; I just didn't want to talk with a croaking voice. It's very uncomfortable to have a huge knot in your throat while trying to converse with someone.

She followed me after my moment of silence. I looked up for a bit, spotting the smoke that was left behind by his flying machine. It was already getting blown away by the wind. Then, a tear ran down my right cheek, followed by a traitor tear from my left eye.

I looked straight ahead again. Stupid emotions would give me away. I noticed that I had come across the thin towers Ed and Al created in order to get to the space craft. They were incredible. But it wasn't the height of these things that caught my attention. It's never what's created by the brothers that impress me. It's the fact that they know _what _they are doing and _how_ to do it in order to create what they have in mind.

I came to a stop, already too close to the new manmade landmarks.

"Winry, what's wrong?" Scheska asked, a little irritated by my silence.

I turned to face her, but instead of looking at her, I took a seat on one of the square shaped bases and stared at the rocky street below me.

"Nothing," I said after what seemed an entire hour even if it was just a few minutes.

"But you look like you're…crying." She noticed even though I tried to hide that stressing fact.

The bad thing about me is that I am too sensitive and I start to cry for certain things. Ugh.

"I'm not, okay?" I tried to persuade her.

"Winry, Scheska, are you two alright?" This new voice startled me. It was a woman's voice. Tough and a bit deep, but feminine all the same.

"Lieutenant Hawkeye," I realized. "We're fine." Although _we_ should be asking _them_ since _they_ were the ones fighting. How ironic is it that they ask for our status when they clearly received a greater challenge than us? All we had to do was hide and we couldn't even do that. They only had sand bags to cover themselves with and _they_ are asking _us_ if _we are alright_?

When I directed my attention to her, I noticed that all of General Mustang's subordinates were gathered in our location, excluding the General himself. I placed my chin on my knees and hugged my legs with great melancholy. Damn it. It was bad enough I had Scheska with me, but now I had an audience to watch me break down?

And to make it worse, Roy was just in time to watch the show. Perfect, that's what I needed. The chance to show the one person who thought I was strong just like the brothers and have that impression diminished in mere seconds. And all because of my feelings.

"They…left, didn't they?" I heard Hawkeye ask.

Mustang was reluctant to answer. He knew how I felt about those two. At least I think he knew how I felt. But he had to respond.

"Unfortunately, they did."

"But why? Ed was already here. Why did he suddenly just go back?" This time Second Lieutenant Havoc questioned.

"It was surprising to here his explanation."

So he had a reason? That was so Ed. Probably for the benefit of humanity or something. He would never leave for personal reasons. Just for the ones that managed to keep the people safe. Because that's what he does: protect. Thus dubbed 'The Alchemist of the People'.

Mustang continued. "He needed to return the soldiers that came from the other world and seal the gate so that no one on that side would try to pass again to cause damage here."

Yep, that sounded like Ed. In order to keep everyone safe, he had to leave. Does that really explain 'equivalent exchange' or whatever that crap was? That didn't really sound 'equal' to me. We needed him here, protecting us. Sure, he's protecting us from the people across the gate, but at the cost of his life here?

The lump came back and I tried to keep my breathing on an even pace, but it was difficult to fake. I wasn't really the best actress to say the least. I felt a dozen gazes on me; they probably heard my breathing rate. I wished they would disappear for the moment because I was really going to start crying now. I could not contain myself, but I wanted to be alone. I couldn't imagine being watched by military officers—strong and resistant—while crying. Especially if they thought highly of me.

"Winry…are you alright? You sound strained," Riza asked me.

I had to get away from here. I couldn't handle the though of knowing they knew I cried for Ed. So I stood—always looking at the uninteresting concrete—and began to walk away from them.

"No, no I'm not," I replied already a few steps apart from them. I was surprised they heard me though. My response was a true whisper, intended to not be heard.

They followed me; I walked faster. _'Just leave me alone!'_ I screamed in my mind. It's annoying to try to cry and have people behind you, trying to soothe you. I was lost in thought, but the strange part was that I caught myself running away from them. Why was I running, though?

My sudden outburst in revelation of showing my weak side made me light-headed, literally. I couldn't feel my head and I couldn't hear my thoughts, and before I knew what I was doing, I was already half-way through the task. I was already setting something in motion, a decision in which my brain hadn't had an argument with the little voices in my head that told me right and wrong and my inside voice. I acted before I thought and I felt—or better yet, I couldn't feel—my legs moving on their own without my permission. And I didn't feel like running. I felt like walking until I saw my surroundings pass by in quick movements. My body was acting on its own without the consultation of my brain to give a say in if I should or should not move. Pathetic! Just pathetic!

"Winry!" I heard someone shout.

I didn't want to turn. I just wanted to go home and cry in my room, locked with chains and welded shut so no one could enter and interrupt my depressive state.

I heard them yell out my name again and I kept ignoring them. Why were they suddenly following me? Can't they see I wanted to be alone?

I didn't know the directions of this city so I just ran without a destination in mind. I was lucky I didn't take turns that led to dead ends. Then, I would've been screwed.

I didn't see it coming when I took a left turn and ran diagonally to take a right turn; Armstrong had landed in front of me, getting an unexpected scream from me. I turned around to run straight, but a bright light landed a few feet away from me, causing the piece of street to crack and explode. Little bits of cement snowed down on me as I began to run, but Mustang was already blocking my way. I risked turning around only to see the Lieutenant Colonel blocking my other option of a path.

I inhaled sharply, closed my eyes, exhaled, and looked down. I felt the ground on my knees and I saw that the street was closer. Was I kneeling down or sitting down? Either one, it was embarrassing.

"I know his departure hurts, but you can't just simply run off like that," Mustang stated.

"Why not? Wouldn't you feel like running from the world if you knew you would never be able to see someone dear to you ever again? And besides, I have legs, you know? I can do what I want," I responded with an awfully small tone.

"You can explain first before running off."

"I have my rights. I don't feel like explaining anything."

"Winry, you know this is not easy to cope with, but just try to calm down," I heard Riza say this time.

I said nothing for a while and Mustang finally broke the tense pause. I wasn't the one who was to break the silence. If anything, I was inviting the quiet atmosphere to stay.

"Now, why did you take off?"

"Because I'm hungry, okay? Does that answer your question?" I retorted with thick sarcasm. Sometimes I wonderd if that man thinks. Isn't it obvious that I'm grieving over my great loss?

"Very funny Winry. Now tell us your real reasons for running."

"I don't want to tell you," I said raising my voice an octave.

"Miss Rockbell, please try to understand that we just want to know so we can help you," Armstrong reasoned.

Well if they wanted to help, why didn't they say so earlier?

"Okay, if you want to help me, then open up that gate that Edward closed and bring him back here," I demanded.

"Do you only want Edward back or young Alphonse as well?" he asked.

Al left with him? I hadn't noticed his absence. Great, neither of them is here now.

"He's gone, too?" I questioned.

"Yeah, he jumped on the ship at the last second. He wasn't going to let his brother leave without him," Mustang said.

Al. That's what he really wanted. To be with his brother no matter what. And he got what he wanted. So did Edward. He got to save the world yet again, got his brother's body back and he got to be reunited with Al again. Alright, now it's my turn. Where's my 'equivalent exchange'? Or does that only apply to alchemists? I wanted my reward for being patient, obedient, and kind!

"That explains why he's not here, then."

A pause followed.

"Are you going to explain why you ran off?" Mustang insisted.

"You said it yourself. Their departure. It's not something I can actually get used to. The most difficult fact is that they are gone forever because I assume that you are not willing to open the portal to bring him back," I finally admitted. But why was I really hurting? Because I wouldn't see my best friends' faces ever again? Or because I held deep feelings for Edward? Because I lo—lo…I couldn't even mold the word in my thoughts. I loved him? Like puppy dog love or a teenage crush? Or the mushy feelings adults feel when they are in a relationship? I guess it was all three combined with an even stronger feeling. I burned when he wasn't with me. I yearned for his love! I needed for him to return the affection. But he wasn't here. I was a little too late now.

"Is that all? Because I can see in you expression that you have more to say," Mustang kept poking.

"What more do you want to hear? That I'll miss him—them? That it's not fair they're gone?"

"Is there more? Winry, let it out or you'll end up hur—" But he didn't get to finish what he was saying since he was making me so tired, I had to cut him off.

"Fine, you want to hear it? Okay, I'll admit it. I love him. There. You heard me? I. Love. Him," I confessed.

There were dozens of gasps heard. Even Mustang seemed surprised. I turned my burning face away from them all so that they wouldn't see my crimson cheeks. No wonder Ed always complained about him. He _is_ an annoying ass.

"As I suspected. The way you've been acting kind of gave you away," he said.

"So if you knew, why did you make me say it?" I asked irritated and incredulous.

"I didn't, actually. I just assumed. But really, you hold feelings for him? Winry I thought you could do so much better."

I grimaced heavily at him.

"If it bothers you so much then pick on someone else's feelings," I said.

They stayed quiet. Finally. I started to walk away from them, hoping they wouldn't follow me home.

"Where are you going now?" he asked.

"Home. I don't have any business here. And I have patients who need my assistance. Now if you all excuse me, I'll head to Resembool." The land of my childhood. The place where the Elric brothers belong.

I heard no footsteps behind me this time. It's about time they listened. I didn't want to deal with any of them on the train ride back home. It would be uncomfortable to have them think of me strangely since I revealed this new information. I wish that none of this would have happened. None at all. That Ed and Al wouldn't have left today. That they wouldn't have been separated. That they wouldn't have gone on that journey for the philosopher's stone. That they wouldn't have sinned and tried to bring their mother back. That their father wouldn't have left so that Ed wouldn't have felt a huge grudge and responsibility. If none of those events would have existed, Ed and I would have probably been married already or dating or engaged or something normal, living three normal lives in a quiet little village with no troubles at all. We would all be happy. But fate had to be messed with and send everything flying uncontrollably in all directions. What a miserable life.

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_So what did you think? Ya'll like it? I hope you did. A little hint in case someone is lost: this is Winry's first memory since Ed and Al left. I'm taking this story back in time and telling the events that happened between those four years that Ed and Winry are separated.  
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_Well, hope you liked it. R/R,plz! _

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	4. I l l u s i o n

_Hello everyone! Small A/N: I spent long hours writing this chapter and I had to get into the mind of a guy in order to do it. Anyways, this is the long awaited Edward chapter! I tried my best and I hope you like it! R/R, please! Reviews are cookies and I like cookies! Thanks a ton! _

_Always thankful to my wonderful reviewer: alchemichelper101! This is to you! You wanted an Ed p.o.v. chappie and here it is! Enjoy and I hope you like it! Thanks for the song also! _

_Warning: EdXWinry, horny scene, language, brother squabble. _

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_**In Love: Positive**_

**Illusion**

A divine mind, a suffering face.

A tortured soul, a desperate attempt.

Her voice, so rough, firm, and stubborn yet so fragile, kind, and innocent.

I heard her plea.

"Edward," she called. "Edward," I heard again.

She was crying, and I caused her to cry. Why was that? I seemed to always do something wrong, something that didn't belong, something unwelcomed. But how could I know what it was? Was it obvious or hidden? Decipherable or vanished?

Was it because it pained her to see me leave? That I wouldn't be around like I used to? Or was it that she hated me since I was never with her, never around to talk to her?

"Edward," I heard for the third time. I looked around for the person calling. Maybe an angel or doll that came to life.

It was pitch black and the only thing I could see was a dotted light. A silhouette figure appeared in my peripheral vision, making its way around to stand in front of me. The light hugged her outlined body, but that was all I could see. Except for the white line around her, her body was black as night.

But in the light, her hair glittered, and I seemed to recognize her.

Dazzling blonde hair blew towards me, but I just kept staring. I could hear her echoing sobs as she moved forward.

"Come to me," she said. "Edward, please."

Involuntarily, my legs began to advance with long, eager strides towards the gorgeous woman that was ahead. Her magnificent sunshine hair waved long and loose, giving her a goddess-like appearance. She had a short, beige dress on—maybe her night gown—with thick spaghetti straps. As always, she dressed nicely. I could see her shadowed face filled with salty tears, her eyebrows furrowed in a distressed expression, and her small yet full lips trembled. Her eyes were the most stunning of all. Amazing sapphire irises twinkled with delight and sorrow.

"Edward," she whispered.

She was just as I remembered her: sensitive, aware, beautiful.

She wrapped her arms around my waist, smiling, liking what she did. I looked down at her, noticing I was a few inches taller than her. My arms slid around her slender torso, or at least, that's what I thought it was. I wasn't sure if I was hugging her waist, her abdomen, or for that matter her chest. She didn't complain though, so maybe I was hugging what I thought I was hugging.

She seemed so small to me now—so delicate and breakable—that I feared I might crush her if I embraced her tighter.

But it was unexpected that she would raise her arms and place her hands around my neck. She leaned closer, probably standing on her toes, until she was able to reach my chin. Damn, I _was_ taller.

Her movements made me realize that as she moved up, my hands moved down, settling on her hips rather than her waist.

"Why did you leave me, Edward?" she asked.

I couldn't answer; how could I explain that it was necessary to close the gate from this side so that no danger could cross through it again? That I needed to disappear in order to keep her safe?

"Don't stay quiet, damn it. Tell me," she whimpered.

Grape-sized tears began to run down her shaded rosy cheeks. I couldn't _not_ answer to that face. Replying was required whether it was when she was content, poignant, livid, or apathetic. Now that she was letting out the salt water we both abhorred, it was no exception. It was crucial in order to maintain that wonderful smile on her astonishing face.

"Why won't you answer, Ed? Are you that insensitive? That uncaring? That indifferent?" she asked sourly.

"No," I finally responded.

"Then, what?"

"I can't find a way to make you understand." This was killing me, trying to burn me alive.

"Understand? I am capable of understanding just fine, Edward. I'm not a genius like you, but this is not the state alchemist exam, either. It doesn't take a genius to answer what I asked, and you should have a perfect answer, since _you are_ a genius," she scowled lightly, still holding that touch of sadness in her.

This time, my hands followed my command; they made their way from her hips to her delicate face, holding her soft jaw and chin. Her tears made their way to my palms and slid down my wrists. Her crystalline eyes were desperate, demanding a firm response.

"It's complicated," I said.

"That's not a convincing answer. If the reason is disturbing, then tell me. I don't mind if there is something gruesome involved or if something terrible occurred. I'm here, you can tell me. You can trust me," she said, tried to convince me.

"It's not that. It was essential to…"I trailed off, looking away for a few seconds, avoiding to look straight in her eyes, afraid that she would be capable of getting the answer out of me.

"Edward," she begged.

Her grip tightened around my throat, but I didn't feel the force she used. I was numb. Now she was making me desperate. I didn't want to hesitate anymore.

"Alright, I left because…I didn't want any danger to reach you." Admitting what I hid was so confusing. I was always able to actually lie to her to keep her safe, but now I was telling the truth, even if it meant making her cry.

"But I am safe. And I would be safer with you around. And your brother, too," her reasoning was seeping in, making me see that I was so stupid to come back.

"But I can't go back now," I said touching my forehead to hers.

"You can try."

Those three words made me think. I couldn't return _now_, but it never hurt to give a little effort.

"Do it for your home, for your world…for me," she said an attractive, almost seductive, tone. "Please."

"I will try," I agreed.

"See that you do."

And then her lips found mine.

They were so soft and warm, fitting for such a person. It was so enjoyable to taste her lips through my surprise. Her eyes were closed tight, maybe scared to see my reaction or maybe acting on impulse. When two people shared a kiss, they closed their eyes.

So I closed mine as well, savoring the moment. It was sweet how we moved; our faces shifted from side to side, our lips touching each other, our hands roaming around one another's bodies.

She let go of my lips and I made my way to her jaw line just as I felt her breath on my right ear.

"Come home to me, Edward. Come home." Her convincing words made their way to my brain, already helping me make my decision.

I didn't respond. She knew my answer already because she was the one who implied it.

I kissed the side of her face, moving down to her silky peach neck. It was amazing how this female who seemed to act so tough and rough for her own good on the surface was an over-caring, lovable person. I knew she cared and worried, but did she really miss me that much?

"Edward," I heard her gasp.

"Ed-ward," she said again.

Her hands lingered in my hair as I kissed her throat and went down to her shoulder blades. She was pressed tighter against me, wanting to be as close as possible. And I would hold her here in my arms never minding if we took all eternity here.

Her exquisite caresses were hypnotic and influencing every action I took that I found it unbearable for us to stay standing like this. I sat down with Winry on my lap, our arms still wrapped around each other.

I looked at Winry. Her face was flushed, but she looked like she was enjoying what we were doing. I laid her down on the black floor and kissed her as tenderly as possible. Her hands would wonder to the buttons of my shirt and she would undo them as she went down; her hands lingered on my chest afterwards, eager to feel my body.

My hands wandered off to her stomach. My fingers drew small invisible figures around her abdomen and she would let out a few muffled squeals. I must've touched her tickle spot.

We would try to take deep breaths, but our oxygen was always cut short by our interfering kisses. We didn't really mind, though.

"Edward," she whispered again.

I directed my attention to her face and saw that her eyes were open, fluttering her long eyelashes at me. We both smiled at each other, but when she tried to show a pearly whites smile, she became translucent. It was the strangest sight I've ever seen.

She managed to get out from under me and stood up. I just looked up at her, unable to grasp what the hell was going on.

"Winry what are you…" I couldn't even speak the question.

"Edward," she said sounding distant.

She backed away from me stepping closer to the dotted light with every second that passed.

"Come home, okay?" she asked.

She disappeared in an instant. Where had she gone?

I was probably getting sucked into my own cynicism since I was a sucker for nostalgia, still clinging to the world I decided to give up in order to keep everyone safe. But to what cost?

Winry repeated my name so many times I lost count.

"Edward."

"Edward," I heard her say again.

"Edward…Edward…Edward!" A different voice spoke this time. The dark room seemed to get impossibly darker. Who was this that tortured me?

I felt someone shuffle me slightly.

Then out of nowhere, I felt a pillow on my face.

"What the hell?" I complained out loud.

"Edward, time to wake up." It was a male's voice this time. Then I remembered the only man that was punctual: Alphonse.

I unwillingly opened my eyes, sat up, and saw the smug face my brother held.

"What the fuck, Al?" I questioned irritated. This boy right here, the one I called 'my brother' had interrupted my pleasant dream. Son of a…no wait, my mother's not a bitch. But he killed my oncoming depressed mood as I realized that the events spent with Winry were just illusions. Ah, what the hell? That wasn't fair.

"Do you know how difficult it is to wake you up, brother?" he asked with humor in his tone.

"Very. I know. Why do you think I don't wake up?" I returned with just as much amusement.

"Because you just love to push it. Get up. Remember, we're leaving," he reminded.

"And who arranged that stupid schedule?"

"You," he pointed out as-a-matter-of-factly.

"Shit, that's right." Who better than me to make the wise decisions? "Why did I ever say so early again?"

"You wanted to get things done sooner? That's what you told me anyway," Al answered.

I placed my head on my soft cushion and groaned.

"It won't help if you take a day off, brother," Al cut me off. I was barely going to say something.

"Yeah, will it help if I threw this pillow back to its owner?" I didn't wait for a response. I just tossed the pillow to Al, not caring where it hit him as long as it hit him.

"Brother," he began, "do you have to get your payback?"

"You started it, so don't complain." The enlightenment of payback was such a satisfying way to phrase all this. I returned Al's pillow and I would return to Winry. Payback didn't sound so negative once you thought of it in a positive way.

"Fine. Noah made breakfast and you're not gonna skip out on it like you did yesterday," Al ordered.

"What are you, my mother? I'll feed myself right now," I replied humourlessly.

"You better. Ed, we're going to search for the bomb. You want to have no energy in case we get in a fight?"

"I have plenty of energy to argue with you, don't worry." Digressing was always fun with Alphonse; I got to see his irritated side.

"No, stupid, I meant if we somehow get caught while we're rummaging around the cargo on the ship."

"Oh! That, yeah, I'll have energy. But what's your point?" My false realization really bothered him. He had that exasperated stare and I heard him scoff.

"Forget it, just get breakfast, little immature brother," he said, trying to annoy me.

Kinda worked, though. It sucks when he calls me short even though I'm a bit taller than him. And yes, I grew in the past four years.

"Okay, Mommy," I returned, standing up and digging in my suitcase to get a clean set of clothes.

"Ah, screw you, Ed," Al said tossing me the pillow.

"You too, Al, you too," I replied catching the feather-stuffed pillow with my free hand and throwing it back to him again.

It flew into the neighboring section of the hotel room, probably the kitchen, and I heard a girly squeak while I put on my navy blue pants.

Noah. Oops, either I hit her, the pillow passed by her, or it was about to hit her. Which ever one it was, it must have left the poor girl in slight shock.

I turned while I buttoned up my white shirt and blue vest and saw Noah there, standing against the door frame with a food tray clutched tightly in her hands.

"Sorry Ed, I didn't know you were changing." A slight blush touched her cheeks as she turned around.

"No, it's fine Noah. I'm done anyway." And I was. She didn't see anything she didn't have to or need to—or maybe even want too—see.

"Oh, well, I brought you breakfast. I hope you like it."

I thanked her, unable to deny it since she was already here and that would be rude. But it looked good and I wouldn't reject it since my stomach gurgled and my mouth watered.

She handed me the tray and I dug in. While I ate, she combed my long hair, running her fingers through it, and finally placing it in a neat ponytail. It was a bit awkward having her do that. I didn't ask for her to do my hair; I could do that myself. But she told me that we could multitask, save time while we did various things at a time. If you ask me, maybe she wanted an excuse to touch my hair.

I gave her that chance. How bad could that be? After all, if she was planning to sneak a peek in my mind of my resent dreams, that was her fault if she saw something unwanted. And believe me, that happened often. It wouldn't be a surprise if she were shocked when she saw what I dreamt last night. And her usual shock would be when I dreamed of Winry. So I dreamed about her, what's the big deal? I mean, wow, is it that bad to dream about a girl? Like that? It's weird. Would it be that the shock she would get was because of what I dreamed? The kisses I gave Winry, the caresses we gave each other, the heat we felt when our bare skin touched? Maybe Noah was jealous. Maybe she was amazed with my somehow having a perverted mind. Would she be amazed when she saw what I dreamt? The promise I made to Winry in my gentle hallucination, would that worry her? Noah was a bit paranoid, but always firm, except when she took in the fact that I wanted to go back to my world just as badly as I wanted Winry.

I heard Noah sigh, clearly knowledgeable of my current agreement I made with the angel that made her visit last night. I had finished my breakfast by then; it was apparently as good as it looked. I appreciated Noah's cooking, but I missed Winry's.

So my plan was set, and probably Noah already knew it as well. As soon as we destroyed the bomb, I would dedicate my time to search for a way to come back home like I had promised Winry. I was anxious now, excited even, eager to find that explosive devise as soon as possible so that I could get started on my next project. Getting home to my beloved was just a few steps away.

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_I hope you liked this. I know I liked writing it and it would help give me a ton of enthusiasm if you drop by and leave a review/comment. Thank you for your time! Till my next chapter!_

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	5. R e a c h

_This is still through Ed's beautiful eyes and it's like a pattern. First three chapters are from Winry and the other three chapters are from Ed. The next set will be another case. Anyhow, if you are reading, I appreciate that you are here. I hope you enjoy what I wrote and desperately wanted to update here, so here's a filler. R/R please! I would appreciate it very much. I received so much support from chapter 4 and I noticed that most people like Edward's side more than Winry's. I do, too, but that's because I love Edward.  
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_The most specialist thanks to my loyal reviewers: Esty-chan, dontwaitupxx, twinlover69lolawesomewriter (this ones for u chick!), alchemichelper101, LittleChemist, 23ugottaluvit, Dai's Angel, and .three._ _Big fat dedication to all of you. You deserve it!_

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_**Previously on In Love: Positive...**  
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_As soon as we destroy the bomb, I would dedicate my time to search for a way to come back home like I had promised Winry. I was anxious now, excited even, eager to find that explosive devise as soon as possible so that I could get started on my next project. Getting home to my beloved was_

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**Reach**

We checked out of the hotel we had stayed in and headed for the train station. It was too early and I don't remember telling these two that we had to leave at such a time! But Al was right; I did want to end this soon. It wasn't just for the people who lived here or the safety of the world. It was for Winry now. Once I got this out of the way, I could say hello to my world again. I don't know how I was going to do it, but I would research and try until my last breath is exhaled out of my body and lungs, until my last eyelash gets burned off my eyelids, until my eyes close for the last time.

This would be a long ride since I was too sleepy and I would be thinking about every detail of my previous dream. The dark sky didn't help either. It was probably four in the morning or something; I didn't dare check my watch and I didn't want to ask anybody here for the time. I looked out the window and saw my reflexion; it looked tired and irritated. But I also looked beyond that and observed the forests and plant life of this place I called 'home' now. I had to admit it was stunning. Anyhow, it didn't beat the green of Resembool. Maybe I was saying that because it was my hometown or maybe because Winry was there and I missed her terribly. I wonder if Noah saw this thought, too.

I turned my attention to my brother and the person I considered a 'friend' somehow—because I could never really forget about her treasonous act—and saw that both of them had fallen asleep, Noah leaning on Al's shoulder and him pressing his head on top of hers gently. If I didn't know any better and if I wasn't related to him, I'd conclude they were a couple, deep in love. But it's my brother and he would not really fall for someone that was five years older than him. Right? However, I remembered that he had liked Winry once upon a time and she was one year older than him. She had been too nice with him. I recalled I felt jealousy towards Al because I was afraid Winry might like him more than me just because he was taller than both of us when we were nine and he was eight. But we all got over that after a while and Winry and I continued with our platonic love, our dormant feelings we held towards each other.

I looked around and noticed that everyone in our cart was asleep. We were all headed to the same place and since it would take hours to get to Berlin, why not get some shut eye? When in Rome do as the Romans, and when on a train, do as the passengers. So I closed my eyes as well. I saw Winry's face once I did. She looked so innocent and sweet. And unfortunately, very upset. She was still crying and I felt like jumping at her and digging into her body to remove the button that triggered tears to escape her beautiful eyes. It annoyed me even more. It's not that she cries for everything—because she doesn't, most of the time—but because I don't like to make her cry. For every little move that I make, it hurts her in a way and that pisses me off to a level of anger so great that I feel like tearing my hair out of its roots. This fury was larger than the hatred I held for General Mustang. Although I didn't feel like a demon or a psycho when I thought about it. I felt like killing him and with Winry, I felt like mending her heart with as much alchemy as I could or with duck tape if that helps.

She was so pretty and I was so far away. How could I be such an idiot to leave her like that? I get that I had to save both worlds from each other, but was I really that much of a dumbass to think that Winry would be safer without me? I don't want to sound cocky or anything, but maybe she would have been better with me there by her side. She might have hated that I had left her for seven years, but she would have gotten over that and she would have forgiven me. But maybe I wouldn't have found love like the way I have now. Maybe this love was brought on because she was the only girl I knew well and I had grown up with her and she knew me. Maybe it was because I didn't really see any girls other than her—except for Rose, Clause, Lyra, Sheska, Paninya, and Noah—but it's not like any other girl would have understood me like Winry. She knew what I needed and how I worked, how I felt and thought. When I came to my world again with Eckhart in back of me, she was there with new automail limbs for me. She was ready and she showed that she cared for me. She made me see that she wasn't just a childhood friend because she was more than that. She was no longer my best friend, but something bigger. And I regret not saying goodbye to her or thanking her personally for making the best automail. I regret not admitting to her that I felt something that was so strong, that I held these extraordinary feelings towards her. That even through the excruciating pain of mail attachment, they felt great because she made them with love for me. That's why I take care of the automail that I have right now. It's not only because it hasn't been invented, but because it's the only trinket I have of her. They remind me of her, how she put so much of her heart and effort into her inventions, how she adored their shine and glow, and their productivity when she saw them in action.

I have to admit that I was a jerk with her at times. But even if she complained about the crappy journey we went through, she still took all that shit I would give. How could she be so strong like that? To withstand my uncaring personality sometimes? Did she really love me that much? Was she really that much of a friend? I used to think of her as a sister, until, well, Al and I decided to marry her. But now, I really wish she were my partner, my companion, my girlfriend. Or even my wife. It was a custom that people marry at our age, but since I'm not there in Amestris, and there were no other options for me to take as an alternative (not that I would), I don't really have to worry about it. If I were there, maybe Winry would have accepted my proposal. We would have been happy because I would have made her happy. I would have made a decent husband for her. I would have told her that I loved her every chance I got and bring food to the table and made her feel like a woman. Love would have been abundant and it wouldn't have run out for her. I would have taken care of her and treated her right, the way she deserves to be treated. Because she has gone through as many hardships as I have and I understand perfectly that if she would have chosen me, I would have lived up to that choice. I wouldn't have left her like my father did to my mother. Work would have pulled me out sometimes, but I would have always been with her. And with our kids, I would have been there every day to watch them grow, the time my dad didn't take to do. And when and if I return, I'll do that. I would be the best husband I could be to her no matter what.

Although I have to stop to think if she doesn't feel the same way I do. What if I'm in love with her, but she loves another? If I return, what if she's in someone else's arms or married already with some other man's children? I could never imagine that. What other man is eligible enough to win her heart? She's not that easy to attract either, but could someone else amaze her and make her feel the way I want to make her feel?

I shook my head, trying to rid my mind of that horrible situation. That would be the worst case scenario if I came to her home, but someone else was there. That would be a wasted effort. I would have come back for nothing. And I'm not the kind to actually sink to a low level where I would try to steal her from the man she is with. Or maybe I'm that daring and crazy…

No, I have to think positive. Wait, since when do I have such enthusiasm? Al's usually the one that gives the pep-talks when I'm feeling blue. Maybe his attitude is rubbing off, finally.

I relaxed and thought of her again. What else could I think about? I mean the bomb was a few hours away, but Winry was in my mind now. I pictured her face with that smile of hers that was always perfect and those eyes of hers that were so big and full of expressions. Those sapphire orbs were hypnotic. I wonder if she knows that. And with those long eyelashes, they were even more seductive. Her shiny sunshine hair that glows when the rays of the sun hit it and her pinkish-peach skin that makes her look like a five year old. Her cute little nose that's also perfect, sculpted in the way that the Greek goddesses posses. Her small, yet full lips that are so tempting and hold that magic in them when they tease or soothe are the part that completes her angelic face in an ideal way. Her silky cream-colored neck was so…smooth and her body, so slender. She wasn't that curvy in exaggeration or that skinny where you can confuse her for an anorexic person, but just right. She was tall, but with an hourglass figure. She had curves, but they were nicely done and she had an athletic flat stomach that looked so appealing. She had—and still has, maybe—a small waist where you can circle your arms around it twice and her hips were not that big either. She wasn't like those girls that were hippy and looked fat from that side; she took great care of herself. She had long legs, but not too long (just normal, even if she was taller than me), and they were also slim. She was naturally thin. I have never met someone like her, physically or mentally. She was also intelligent, but I considered her a mechanical genius. The way she works on automail is so impressive. I don't even have the slightest idea on how she can perform such a job, but she struts in her own way and shows everyone she can do it. She's enthusiastic, but also fragile. When she sees something she likes, her eyes gleam and twinkle, but when she gets emotional, you do not want to see her water-works. Those eyes are not meant to shed tears. But she cried for me. She said that she did because Al and I wouldn't cry for ourselves. She was right; I would never cry, especially in front of her. And it stung my mind when I had to constantly hide the truth from her just to keep her safe. I didn't like to keep her in the shadows like I did, but back then, I felt that that was for her own protection. The less she knew the better. Now, I wish I could have filled her in on all the details that were in our troubles. Never mind on that, I didn't want to worry her. She thought I didn't care for her and I didn't want for her to be in our lives, but she had that thought wrong. I didn't want to bother her. I just wish she would have understood. When I get the chance, I would tell her all this.

I dreamed that I kissed her and that I had asked for her hand in marriage, but I had gone to Pinako first. I dreamed that she was thrilled and that she said yes to my question. She looked beautiful and I didn't want to remove my eyes from her, but I felt something shake me. If it's Al again, I'll hit him. With the metal fist. In his stomach. But when I opened my eyes, I saw that Al wasn't there. It was only Noah staring out the window until she focused on me. The movement of the train had woken me.

"Good morning, Edward." She greeted.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked.

"Nothing much. We're almost arriving to Berlin." She informed.

"Really? That's…great." I said as I yawned and stretched.

"You must be very tired, huh?" She wasn't indifferent, but her tone sounded distant.

"You don't know how tired." No kidding when I said that.

"Had a nice dream?" She was a bit acidic now.

"Yes, why?" I pretended like I didn't notice.

"No reason at all. Must've been a very nice dream by the looks of your smile." She pointed out. "He dreamed of her again." She mumbled, though I think I wasn't supposed to hear that. Was she jealous or something? I mean, I was an ass with her most of the time. How could she like me? Because it sounds to me like she's giving off her venom every time I dream about Winry. But Noah's at fault for peeking into my head.

I shrugged and stared at the outside world as well. It was dawn by the looks of the sunrise, so we would get this over with probably by noon. I make it sound like it's the easiest job in the world. Because searching for a bomb in a cargo-filled room was just a candy flavoured ride. Yeah, sure it was. Although it won't be too difficult. The explosive is a red metal ball with a bronze-golden ring around the top edge and the bottom had its base so it could stand. At the top was a small circular door to open it or activate it or something. We just have to look for a crimson sphere and that's it. But we have to destroy it there and then because we can't walk out of the room with a bomb in our hands. The people on board would think we are terrorists or something. We had to be careful not to set it off either.

I remembered I had a brother. "Noah, where's Al?"

"He went to get something to eat for us. He didn't want to wake you and he told me to stay here with you in case you did." That was useful. I was a little hungry.

Just then, Al came with three cups in two hands. I thought he went to get something to eat, not to drink!

"Morning sleepyhead, had a nice nap?" At least his question was friendly even through the sarcasm.

"Quite. Where'd you go?" I asked even if I knew.

He handed me one of the cups. By the temperature of the cup, I knew that it was meant to wake me up.

"Coffee?" I questioned raising an eyebrow.

"Sorry, they were out of juice." He was taunting again. I'm not five anymore.

"I thought you drank it all." I teased back. "Thanks."

"Brought it black although I should have put in some milk so it wouldn't be so boring." Again with the short jokes?

"Al, I'm like three inches taller than you. Let the height go."

"Drink your coffee and wake up." He said laughing. I chuckled and rolled my eyes. He handed Noah her cup and we drank the hot beverage slowly, awaiting our arrival to the city that held the bomb.

I didn't even want to know how long it took us to get here, but I'm glad we finally left the train. I was getting nervous just thinking about it, but I didn't want to feel like that. I wanted to be relaxed so that Noah and Al wouldn't feel doubtful.

We knew that it was on a merchant ship in Berlin; all we needed to do was destroy it. I had bought tickets earlier so we could board on and not have to worry about sneaking in. We had to linger for a while with the passengers so that nobody would be suspicious of us. The moment we were left alone, we moved. We passed through many doors and hallways, but we finally found the place thanks to a careless guard that asked a bit too loudly where the cargo was being put. The storage room was in the lowest level, full of crates and boxes and luggage. We would have to search around for some time. We just had to keep quiet.

"We have to be careful here. We don't want to set it off." I whispered.

"Brother, don't you think people will see us and report us to the guards or something?" Al was doubtful now.

"We'll figure our way out of here. After all, we always do." I needed to reassure him.

I opened the door as quietly as I could and let them go in first. I looked around to check if anyone had seen us, and luckily the coast was clear. So we began the search. We rummaged through every single corner of the room, but no bomb. There were practical things like clothing in some luggage and money in some other bags; there where cigarettes and pipes in other boxes and in the last box I looked in, there were sharp objects like scissors and knives. There were even guns in one other crate. I was about to pop a nerve when I opened one of the last boxes left. But when I lifted the lid, my heart accelerated and wanted to jump out of my rib cage. The red metal ball I had pictured in my head was standing in front of me. A sly smile crept up in my face. I had found it and I couldn't scream out in joy due to the fact that I was the one that ordered silence.

But my smirk dropped when I heard a squeal and a gasp. My eyes widened for a second and then furrowed as I felt something cold against my head.

"What do you think will happen when I push the trigger?" It was a very deep voice. Out of the corner of my eye I saw that it was one of the guards. Damn it, they saw us. But I had the bomb. I could set it off, but I'm not crazy. However, I recalled that he wasn't the only one with metal.

I turned and placed my gloved automail hand on the hole of the gun. "When you shoot and the bullet ricochets off my hand, which one of us do you think gets hurt?" I was serious here. My hand was deadly.

"I suggest you let go of what you have there and leave the ship or we'll throw you off by force." Ooh, scary.

"And I suggest you drop the gun if you don't want that bullet you want to shoot through your body."

"Ed!" I heard Noah scream. The guards had started to shoot. But Al was dodging the bullets and he was helping Noah stay low. My threat shot the bullet, but just as I warned him, it bounced off my palm and hit him on his stomach. He let out an 'Oof' and fell to the hard wooden floor with a soft thud. A pool of blood formed around him quickly. My intention was to avoid getting shot so it wasn't my fault that he was dead.

I got the gun, and even if I regretted doing this, I shot the other guards that were there. I preferred to kill them than to have them kill my brother and Noah. Their blood spewed out in splashes and their bodies dropped like stringless puppets. One of them had protected himself and he was about to shoot me. I couldn't permit that. At least the military training helped here. I didn't think I would need it, but my observations of Lt. Hawkeye were very useful. I learned from the best so my aim was not that bad. I didn't know where to shoot though. The head, chest, and torso would be the bloodiest parts, yet on the limbs, a bullet wouldn't do much damage. But I had to disregard that. I pointed the gun as he was about to pull the trigger. I was faster though. Sorry, guard; a bullet to his stomach.

My hand shook and I closed my eyes when it was over. I promised that I would never kill anybody, but what could I do? I was used to blood and gunshots, but I still couldn't believe I was capable of actually grabbing a gun and taking other people's lives. I wasn't proud of my action, but I wasn't that regretful. I really am a dog of the military. The good thing was that these two were alive. I placed the gun on my coat pocket and opened my eyes to walk over to Al and Noah.

"Are your hearts working?" Maybe they would get a heart attack, but I didn't want to think about that.

They were out of breath, but they looked fine.

"I'm disregarding that." Al said. I did risk his life.

I put the bomb down and examined it. No wires were visible, but there must be some inside. Al and Noah had sat down next to me, helping in any way they could so the bomb could be harmless. They didn't comment on my murderous action. They knew that I had to do it if not they'd be dead. It was their silent 'thank you'. I appreciated that they were discrete.

I carefully and reluctantly opened the circular door, holding in a breath of how nervous I was. It was no joke working on this thing. I looked inside and indeed there were hundreds of little wires. If Winry were here, she'd want to take it apart and figure out how it works. Winry…

I shook my head. This was why I was being more careful with this piece of crap. Maybe I could save it and give it to her when I returned. Or maybe not. I don't think a bomb would make a nice gift.

My eyes moved from side to side, reading the colourful wires and trying to calculate a form so I could keep this thing from blowing up in case I touched something inappropriate. I stuck my right hand inside and I caressed the metal coils and screws and touched the wires. My eyes still roamed and came across a small box. The timer. Which meant that the wires of deactivation were near. This was working out perfectly. If the timer was there in the center, then the wires had to be on top. But there were two.

I let out my air.

"What's up?" Al asked.

"I found the wires, but I have to be cautious. I really don't want for this thing…" I didn't need to finish.

"To blow up?" Al continued.

"Yeah."

"Let me guess: there are two wires, but you can't choose which one to pluck out?" Damn, he's good.

"You got it. I need a tool." I saw scissors around here somewhere. I stood and went to one of the boxes I saw here to get the sharp object I searching for. I got what I wanted and returned. Maybe if I cut both of them it would loose its function.

But I didn't have time to think. The cargo door opened again and there were countless guards coming in. There was no time to waste, but also no time to do this right.

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_I hope everyone liked this. I put in extra effort because of all the support I received. I hope this was something you kind of pictured. The next chapter will be up soon, this time, I'm keeping my promise. _

_R/R,plz! Support is love!_

_-Auto-_


	6. T r a n s p o r t

_I'm sorry I kept you all waiting, but I had to do a few little touch ups to this chapter. FYI, I had to watch CoS like 7 times to get this right, so it would be very appreciated if you all, well, like this. I spent so much on this ditching the mall for two days and having my parents get mad because I slept late just to make this chapter enjoyable for you to read. I hope you enjoy because, hey, it's Edward's mind, so we all want to know what he's thinking! R/R, plz! _

_I would like to thank my wonderful reviewers: twinlover69lolawesomewriter (I owe you for reviewing twice!), i love edward 3 :D, and The Single Leaf of a Tree._

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_**Previously on In Love: Positive...**_

_I stood and went to one of the boxes I saw here to get the sharp object I was searching for. I got what I wanted and returned. Maybe if I cut both of them it would lose its function. _

_But I didn't have time to think._ _The cargo door opened again and there were countless guards coming in. There was no time to waste, but also no time to do this right. _

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**Transport**

We were completely surrounded. How could I analyze this if they were here? Because I didn't expect for them to give me the appropriate time needed to practically paralyze this shitty weapon's function!

They just kept coming in without a possible stop, but maybe it was because time seemed to hold still for a minute. I thought it'd be stupid of them to form a semicircle, but they still did it anyways. No wonder Germany lost the war. Their tactics were shit! I felt the need to laugh, but that would be stupid of me, right?

They all pointed their guns at us, expecting for us to surrender once we saw those arms ready to shoot at our bodies. A part of me was screaming its head off, worrying that we would die and all this effort, research and time that we spent on this crappy device would all be wasted. The other part of me was anxious. It felt the adrenaline rush through its veins and its heart beat twice per time, letting the acceleration of excitement seep in. It invited danger while my treasonous left side wanted to run out of the room. But now it was my time to feel. I felt that I wasn't beaten, more like stopped. I wasn't excited, more like glad. Because I knew that I had found the bomb and at least I had the honor to stick with this and feel free for five seconds to acknowledge the fact that I was the one helping, not threatening. If they shot me and killed me now, it was their loss. I was doing them a favour by taking away the worst possible tool that anyone can have in their hands.

That's why I had the guts to destroy it. The scissor blades were placed perfectly in between the two wires, ready to be cut when I closed the distance. Al and Noah got closer to me even if they knew there was no way out of this. They cocked their guns and my eyes widened. They were going to do it, not knowing that they were going to kill their hidden helpers.

"Edward…" I heard Noah whisper nervously. I didn't have the words to address her so I stayed quiet.

"Do it now. Destroy it." Her whisper was barely audible.

In that instant, they all pushed their triggers.

"NOW!" She screamed in horror as I felt that both wires were disconnected from the timer.

Her yells echoed in my ears and it was like I was seeing screens of black flashing in my eyes with every heart beat I felt. The thud was so loud and my breaths were so heavy that there was just no way we survived.

One thud…two thuds…three thuds…three black screens. And in the last square, electricity flashed before my very eyes. The blue light was so familiar yet so shocking because that did not exist in this world. I turned my vision towards Al and I saw his blue outline with the same electrical structure. There were yellow rays now and I felt my body disintegrating piece by piece. Al's form did the same thing and the blinding yellow light took over the room. Was it possible that this was the way to die? I had been killed before, but what I remember was that I saw the gate in front of me. It was to cross over to this side. I knew that that's what happened when you died in Amestris. But I had never died here before, so I didn't know how it worked. I felt that my body was burning and floating at one time, but I thought it took a long time to get to hell. Because I expected to go there since I have sinned too much. I expected to see fire and eruptions and hideous sights everywhere, but instead, I felt that everything was…alright. Like I wasn't in hell, but I wasn't in heaven either. Was it oblivion like some concluded or another place? There was something solid under me, maybe a platform or something, but I couldn't open my eyes. Because I was too scared to see where I was.

"Brother, wake up. Edward, say something." It was Al.

I didn't want to make him wait, but what if we were actually…what if I never got the chance to come back to her like I promised her?

"Ed, I know you can hear me. If I woke up, then you have to." He didn't sound desperate at all. He knew how his brother worked a little too well, so he just said this with irritation.

"First and foremost, is this a place I'm supposed to know?" I asked.

"You're supposed to have this memorized by the looks of it." He said.

"How so?"

"If you open your eyes, then you can figure that out for yourself." My attitude was rubbing off on him. I didn't need to look at him to see that he hissed with gritted teeth. I was annoying him.

I reluctantly opened my eyes and in front of me was the very thing I thought I would never get to see until I found a way to get to Winry. We had closed the gate when I came back with Al as a surprise in one of the suits of armor. Out of all the places to land on, we had to be here? But I thought this only happened when it was on the other side. And if we were here, then where was Noah? She had to have come here as well since we're here. So where was she? This couldn't be happening because we are supposed to be dead.

"Brother, do you think this is real, at all?" Al asked in disbelief.

I dream about Winry on a daily basis, we get into trouble and face danger, we just found a bomb and died, and I just went through a strange process that didn't involve hell. After all those experiences, I can actually believe that my hair is green and my skin is orange with yellow polka dots with a giant tattoo on my back that says 'I Am Here'. I didn't want to believe it, but I did.

"Ed, why are you all of a sudden silent? You're usually the one that would start freaking out and asking questions, yet it seems that now it's my turn to do it for you." Al questioned.

"Sorry Al; I was just thinking."

"About Winry?" He whispered.

That little brat! "Not the time to be taunting your older brother, Alphonse." I said in between my teeth. "But I feel like this is the real thing." And if it was, then there was no doubt that at any moment, a billion little black hands would come snaking out ready to take what they wanted from us.

"What do we do, brother?"

"I don't know. What can we do? It's the gate. There is a reason why we came here, but we didn't commit human transmutation or use alchemy." Because that was the only reason to come here.

"So then, we're stuck here?" He concluded.

"We have to wait for it to do something. I don't think we can stay here for too long—" The loud creak that we both heard hushed me. The doors were opening and the place was pitch black. Oh shit. Just as I suspected. The gate wanted something from us and we had no choice but to give it in return. The many hands that darkened the place came oozing out of the terrifying passageway, but they turned into human shapes that surrounded us and we could stare into the eyes they had. They were borrowed, stolen, because all equivalencies had to go somewhere and all the sacrifices and dead souls had to be in some body. But they didn't make their way towards us; they kept their distance and just kept staring at us.

The noir of the doors had evaporated and all the little black dots went up leaving the inside white. Two white arms flowed out with out a warning and wrapped themselves around us and pulled us in. Al and I yelled, afraid of what might happen to us. Al had already lost his body once and I have already lost my limbs twice. Could we be blamed for not wanting to give anything anymore? We didn't do anything wrong! Alchemy can't be used on the other world, so how could a bomb send us flying through this hellhole?

The movement was too quick that I felt my face would actually peel off my skull. This movement was too drastic, but too recognizable. I saw images flashing through my eyes all of a sudden and my brain began to expand. I was becoming more knowledgeable of the world again. Like when it happened last time, when we tried to bring mom back. The global information was being pushed right into my mind that I felt like exploding from an information overload. It was too much and I couldn't stand it all. If I knew so much because of this happening once, I couldn't imagine how much I would know when this was over.

I suddenly knew the history of planet earth and everything that had gone on in our world during our absence. Mustang had closed the gate, Central was destroyed, and then, reconstruction began. Intriguing events had happened like better protection being introduced and alchemy training for the state alchemists, automail business had gone up and the Rockbells were the best of all of the engineers…

But I also saw details that impacted. The general and lt. had gotten married which _that was_ intriguing since I thought he was too much of a dumbass to win her heart and she was too serious to fall for him. Amestris hadn't found a Furher yet and Winry was extremely heartbroken…what? Winry, heartbroken? HOW? How could she be heartbroken? What caused her to be like that? If it was a dumbass that did that, I was seriously going to kick his ass when I find out. She was in her room with Pinako, arguing? I had never seen those two fight before. Then, she was sitting in the base of the tree we used to play on with Den by her side and she was sad, upset, depressed. But she has always been a cheerful person! How could she…but she…ah!

'_Edward, I miss you.' _I heard her whisper. Those words rang in my ears like a disturbing shriek. Because now I knew that _I_ was the dumbass that made her suffer. Even if I wasn't with her, she still went through pain. Isn't that why I left? So she wouldn't have to be like that? Shit, I make it worse for her when I'm not there than when I am there. Tears began to run down her cheeks and the image began to fade away until the light pushed in unwanted visions that I didn't wish to remember, the ones I wanted to forget. Because my biggest regret was leaving this world...

Mustang and Al turned to look at me, but I didn't want to look just yet. I kept my eyes closed for a few seconds.

"So what now?" he asked.

I clapped my hands and placed them on the wing of the ship, making it a platform.

"Brother, what are you doing?" Al asked as Roy came forward to hold him back.

"That should be enough alchemic material to get yourselves down." I raised myself. I saw Al whimper and that just sent me through a guilt spasm.

"What about you? Where will you go?" the General questioned.

"I'm going to take what's left of these soldiers back to their world." I showed them.

"Why? You don't have to go with them!" Al exclaimed.

"I have to break the gate from their side Al and I need you to stay here and destroy it on this side, too, so the portal can never be opened again." I said with great grief. It killed me to leave, but I wanted to keep them safe.

"What about Winry? Don't you know she misses you, too?" That caught me off guard for a minute. Winry's face suddenly flashed into my eyes and widened them. I never told her I…

"Tell her thanks," I requested raising my automail, "She always made the best." When I said that, I felt like jumping off the ship to run to her. I knew she was down there.

Al began to cry there and I understood why he did. It pained him to watch his brother leave.

"Wait, brother, no! I just got you back; you can't go again!"

I stepped in the shuttle, sat on the cockpit, and let my journey begin. I was leaving behind a world and in that world, a girl I would miss, the girl I love.

Once the ship started to move, I began to miss them all, but she was the one I thought of most. I wish I could take her with me so we can be together, but that wouldn't happen. I was already entering the underground city and the portal was just a few feet away. The bright yellow passage looked so different. I thought the doors would appear, but it was just a giant hole in the air. I'm amazed Al could do this. He must've trained with Teacher.

I looked at my automail and I felt like I had to protect it or something. She had created it for me and I had to take care of it because what I had said was the truth enveloped in its pedestal. It was a great fact that everyone would breathe in. She always did make the best. And I was honored to have gotten the chance to sport her creations. She did them with all her heart and soul for me. She came prepared with new limbs for me! Nobody does that! I have never seen anybody do that for somebody else. If she would have been someone different, she wouldn't have cared about me. She wouldn't have come to Central to help me and fit me with these wonderful items that came from her beautiful mind. I would have changed my mind about her if she would have been indifferent and stupid. If she would have forgotten me when Al and I began to look for the stone when we were eleven. If she wouldn't have been aware of my coming. If she wouldn't have agreed to fit me with automail in the first place. I would have been crippled, well no, Pinako would have taken pity on me, but I wouldn't have been that aware of her like I am. She demonstrated courage and care when others did not. I didn't see Mustang give me prosthetic limbs to fight; I didn't see Schieska with a case to help me. I don't blame Al for anything because, well, he doesn't know any better and he didn't know I had metallic limbs. Or maybe he did because Winry would have told him. She was different and that's why this ate me up from the inside. Goodbye Winry, for good? Could I really believe that? Could I let that happen? No, could I stop that from happening?

I didn't want to acknowledge the fact that I wanted to cry, but it was unavoidable. It wasn't much, just one tear, but it ran down my cheek with so much heat that I felt it was burning my face to ashes.

The yellow hole had an exit apparently since this was taking hours, or that's what I felt. And I didn't really want to do this, but I had no choice but to crash down there. That was a major impact and I guess this thing was destroyed. There goes Alfons' work.

And there was something bothering me. Hadn't Al and I taken care of Eckhart? I didn't ask Al where he ordered the suits to put her, so where is she? Where did Eckhart go? My question was answered when one of the ship's walls fell.

"Open it again, the doorway. Do it now; I must destroy it." It was a raspy, deep voice, but I think it was her. And then, a gunshot echoed.

I began to step out from this thing with a beaten expression.

"Edward." Noah said.

"Noah. That's right, after all that trouble I'm still here. Surprised?" I wouldn't be if she was.

But when she stood up, she placed Alfons on the hanger's floor. He was bleeding from his stomach with his eyes closed. He was…dead? But how?

"But why? Why would you come back to our world, Ed?" she asked with an unbelieving tone.

"It's hard to explain really." I said looking away. His blood had leaked on her dress.

"He came to destroy the gate." A voice answered.

Al? I turned to see a suit of armor sitting next to me. How'd that get there?

"So you transferred your soul again, huh Al? How long 'till you fade out this time?" I asked.

His helmet fell off and he popped out all of a sudden. "Al!" I exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I jumped onto your ship at the last second, brother. And I hid inside this armor so you wouldn't find me. General Mustang should be breaking down the gate on the other side right now. And we're going to destroy it on this side, right?" That sneaky little brat. How did I not see him? But he said it was at the last minute. I was this close to pushing him out of the way to go searching for Winry in hopes to find her hiding in there, too. But I was delusional. How could she have flown over here so fast to catch us? That would have been amazing and I would have been so…speechless as to find her here. Hell, I wouldn't have cared if everyone saw if I jumped at her and kissed her. Hey, they might as well know who I like, right? But she wasn't there. The hope died instantly.

"But you won't be able to go home Al." I said trying to keep myself composed.

"I want to be at your side, brother, no matter what." That was nice, but can't Winry come popping out now? You know so she could tell me this also? "I want to see the same things you see and learn what you learn and keep on journeying together like those years we were looking for the stone." Those years we were looking for the stone…they were not wasted completely, but the percentage that I felt was will never come back to me. Because I missed out on Winry for so long that I felt like I didn't recognize her when we came to Resembool when I was fifteen. But I loved her, and how could I not recognize her? "Despite all the hardships, those were the best times we had." They were, that was true, but the better times were when she came along. Wait, I thought he didn't remember anything. He told me this.

"Are you telling me your memory's back, Al?" That was incredible.

"M-hm, when I left our own world, I think." He looked pleased.

I was glad as well, though a bit disappointed for the most part. I would get to be with Al which was great, but I wouldn't see Winry.

"Hm, equivalent exchange, huh?" I said answering his comment and my thoughts as I shrugged and stood.

"Destroying that gate's going to be a challenge without alchemy." I pointed out trying to be as enthusiastic as I could for all our sakes.

"Between the two of us, we'll figure it out." Al reminded. At least it wouldn't be so bad with Al. I can actually trust in him to reveal my thoughts and feelings about Winry. But it wouldn't be the same thinking about her and being with her.

He was standing next to me; we looked at each other and smiled as we began to calculate a plan to destroy the passageway back to our world, the place we will never see again with the girl I will never meet again.

Farewell Winry. I will miss you.

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_So what did you all think? I was like 'Ahh, they want something good! I can give this much hoping it's good enough!' And btw, this is the CoS dialogue with my twist, okay? It's the movie's talk, but I just put in Ed's thoughts in every line. _

_R/R, plz! Support is love!  
_

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	7. C h i l d i s h

_School is to blame for the late update. Thank you for reviewing 23ugottaluvit, alchemichelper101, The Single Leaf of a Tree, . . . , Son of the morning, fma43, Lucky Numbers, DevonMarie, and BabyBee3! This one's to you! I hope you enjoy!_

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_**Previously on In Love: Positive...**_

_If none of those events would have existed, Ed and I would have probably been married already or dating or engaged or something normal, living three normal lives in a quiet little village with no troubles at all. We would all be happy. But fate had to be messed with and send everything flying uncontrollably in all directions. What a miserable life. _

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**Childish**

The streets of Central were completely destroyed. It was unbelievable how much it took to blow them up in a matter of minutes. There were pieces of concrete missing, giving the black pavement the appearance of a crater attack. It was difficult to walk through without slipping and I was surprised that I could keep my balance at all, but this would end when I would get home. I longed to go back now that I knew he would be away for the rest of his life and his absence would haunt me for the rest of mine. It was my biggest regret not telling him anything and it was my biggest disappointment realizing that I actually loved my best friend when he was leaving. I was angry with myself because I didn't want to admit it, but the thought broke through my barrier and invaded my entire system.

Buildings had collapsed and I saw smeared blood on the sidewalks; the greatest terror was noticing the hand of a child covered with the crimson liquid trying to reach for their teddy bear. How could such things like the gate and that space craft take hundreds of lives whether they are innocent or not? How could it crush that poor little girl or boy or let Edward and Alphonse pass through again? What if…it took something from Ed again and I'm not there to help him? He could lose his other limbs for all I know! And he would have to use that primitive crap he had before he crossed over instead of my beautiful crafted automail prosthetics! My automail…I wouldn't make it for him anymore. I wouldn't be…his mechanic. I wouldn't be of any use to him because the Fullmetal Alchemist won't return. I won't see his scorching amber eyes or his cocky grin or touch his golden hair. I won't watch him sport my creations or do the necessary repairs or maintenance or order him to strip off his clothes, have him…shirtless in front of me…

The image of Edward in his boxers crossed my mind. His body was proof that he worked out; sometimes when he unintentionally flexed his muscles, I could see the tendons and nerves stick out from his left arm. The automail made him look stronger and tougher. It made him look better. Even if one of them was made of steel, his hands were pronounced. The desire to have him wrap those beautiful biceps around my waist or my hips grew without a need to stop. His chest was so muscular and…sculpted. I felt like running my palms through his pectorals and admiring those broad shoulders of his. And his back…just remembering the time he showered outside in my house made me melt. The water that ran down his toned back increased his sensuality. My face felt like it would burn off; the blush on my cheeks must've been an immense red. Was I thinking of him like this because of how I felt? I was that attracted to him? Was love supposed to make me feel like this, have passionate desire? Lust over him and compliment his body silently? I stopped dead in my tracks, impressed with myself that I could crave for him like that. The worst part was that I didn't have a problem with that and I didn't want for anybody to slap me. I didn't want to stop thinking about the shine of his hair or the strength he had inside. Hell, I didn't care if I was caught day dreaming about him.

My train of thoughts was diminished instantly when I realized my wish to go home would be cancelled. Not only did the city receive an explosive attack, but the damn train station was closed and there were guards outside telling everybody to stand back. There was a large crowd yelling and I was unable to hear the guards' explanations. However, it wasn't that hard to figure the reason out. It was pretty obvious, if you used common sense. It was unsafe to travel by train because the tracks were wrecked. I felt like throwing my tools at everybody. How did I expect to get home now? My walk here was a total waste and I wasn't in the mood to ask the military for help after what I said.

Maybe if I walked home…sure enough because I can go through at least a day without stopping, with boots. Irritation flowed through my veins as I considered the options I had, which weren't many.

"If you want to take a train ride back to Resembool, you'll have to wait for five days." The general's cocky voice met my ears. His statement upset me; I was impatient to get the hell out of here damn it! I didn't want to respond since I knew my words would be seeping with venom. "Or," he continued, "one of us can take you in a car."

That's what I didn't want to think about. Being in a car with one of them didn't mix right with my attitude right now. I could suck it up if Riza went; I can actually talk to her about things. If Havoc or any of the others go, everything would be quiet since I would ignore everything they try to say. If the General accompanies me, it'd be like requesting suicide. He'd bombard me with questions and taunt and keep up his smug act. Ugh, I was thinking low of Roy when all he wanted to do was help me. This is a strange feeling I have. Mood swings are they?

I felt a hand rest lightly on my shoulder breaking my concentration. "Winry, would you like for us to take you home?" The First Lt. asked.

"Please." I mumbled.

"Alright then. Major, do you know of any routes that may be opened?" Mustang asked.

Armstrong was thoughtful for a moment.

It was cut short when a soldier came running towards us. "Sirs", he said as he stopped to salute, "General Hakuro instructs that it is crucial for all officers to come and put the city to order."

"Since when was he put in charge?" Havoc asked sarcastically.

"Hakuro?" Mustang echoed.

"Yes, sir."

"Tell him we'll be right there and also please excuse Major Armstrong. He won't be participating in this one." Roy commanded as he looked at the Major.

My eyes widened as I let that information sink in. Major Armstrong was coming? No! He's too…sparkly and gushy and…and…ARGH! Bottom line, I just didn't want for him to go. I'd rather take Mustang and his teasing remarks.

The Major and the soldier both nodded as the younger man excused himself.

"Don't worry Miss Winry. I'll make sure to get you to your home safe and sound!" He boomed with that powerful yet sweet voice of his.

"Thank you Major. I appreciate this and everything you all are doing for me." I bowed my head.

"Don't mention it." Mustang said.

Riza gave me a sympathetic look and then she went to join the group of officers.

I regretted behaving like a brat. They were being so kind with me and that wasn't fair to them. "Um, sirs", I called before we left, "I'm sorry for acting like I did earlier. I overreacted so please forgive me." I begged.

"You don't have to make an apology, Winry. It's only natural to respond like that to these kinds of situations." I wasn't surprised that Hawkeye said this.

"Thank you." I raised my sight and noticed someone missing. "Where's Sheska?"

"The city is rounding up the survivors and such. She went with them." Roy explained.

I sighed. "Thank you." She wanted to give me space.

And then, they ran to the base.

Unfortunately for Armstrong, we had to walk due to my presence and pace. We reached a hidden car that was kept behind a bookstore a while later. I really didn't know how long we took, but it must've been a couple of hours by the way the sky darkened.

"I hope you don't mind if we take a few hours to get to your destination, Miss Rockbell. It's getting late and we have to be careful on the road at night." Armstrong warned.

"It's okay. Thank you Major." I gave a small smile.

The trajectory was peaceful and calm; the Major surprised me when he didn't ask questions about my feelings for Edward. He is very respectful and I regret rejecting his company. It was actually the best for me. He was like my chauffer; I was in the back seat enjoying the ride while he drove.

"Major", I broke the silence, "why are you, um…so quiet?" I dared to ask.

"I thought you had gone to sleep. You are silent as well. Do you want to talk or do you feel like leaving the conversations for tomorrow?" he wondered.

He was really sweet. How did I somehow get annoyed with him? That was horrible of me! "Um, can we please talk tomorrow?"

"What ever makes you feel better."

"Thank you. Oh, Major! Aren't you tired?" I realized. He had been fighting all day with those armored soldiers that he must be worn out.

"Not one bit. I know you want to get home soon so I won't stop until we get there. Now, don't worry about me. Go to sleep Miss." He sounded like a father in that last part. Just wanting to get his child to their house so she can rest.

I lied down on the seat and smiled as I placed my hands under my head to let my dreams take over my mind.

I run as fast as I can through the large meadow, careful to avoid his touch. We are playing tag and the only thing that worries me is getting to be 'it'.

"ARGH!" he screams as he jumps through the tall grass to get to me.

I start to giggle and break into a run, using my toes only instead of planting my feet on the ground the right way. It's faster this way and I get to feel like a ballerina when I do this, but Edward is quicker. For a shorty, he knows how to run. He gets in front of me and makes me stop.

"Tag!" he says as he places his hand temporarily on my forearm. He starts to run again, waiting for me to go after him.

I move.

I'm getting closer to him, trying to avoid the many rocks that are in my way. The river's edge is at our feet and the wet grass tangles itself in our sandals.

"You have to run faster, Ed!" I warn as I push my way forward to catch his arm.

He turns around and catches me in his arms.

"Tag!" I yell.

"We're both 'it'!" he points out as he spins me around and we enter the clear water laughing.

We sit near the mouth of the river and watch the frogs jump from Lilli pad to Lilli pad and let that 'RIBET' sound escape their throats as they get inflated. We imitate the noise and chuckle at our silliness. We pick up two of the large leaves and admire them in our tiny palms. It's adorable how we play with them; Ed covers his face with it as if it was a mask and I place it on top of my head as if it were a hat. We put them back where they were and let the water flow under our little bodies. Ed gets the idea of splashing water and he starts to bring handfuls up so we can get wet. I follow his example and we end up soaked.

We stop and I take his face in my arms and give him an innocent kiss on his cheek. He freezes for a second and then recoils back to reality. His minute blush says that he knows what a kiss means and that he knows I did it because we're having fun, because we are friends…

We stand and begin to run around the little area we are in, chasing each other, or the frogs, picking the cattails we see for our curiosity and fun to rip something from the ground. We are mischievous as we splash water again until our parents come to find us dirty and tired, lying on the water, pretending to float like the fish that are present. Our childish laugher is carried by the wind. It echoes, it bumps into the invisible walls, it makes me crash.

My eyes opened as I felt that I touched the rather tough material that was the car's base. I couldn't really call it the floor since it was mobile and it wasn't on the ground.

"Miss Winry, are you alright?" Armstrong asked, stopping the car for a minute.

I didn't respond for a second. "Yeah, I'm okay." I murmured.

I must've rolled over. And I was having such a sweet dream! It was so adorable and cute; I couldn't find a way to erase it, and I didn't want to erase it!

He started the car again.

The sun was beginning to rise. It must be dawn. There was still a bit of purple and pink blending with the yellow and orange tints and the gray from the clouds.

"Miss Winry, you'll be happy to hear that we have arrived to Resembool and we are just moments away from your lovely home." He informed.

"Thank you, Major." We were here already?

I sat up and observed my home come closer. I remembered that I wanted to run up to my room and seal the door shut a few hours ago. That feeling came back as I recalled that Ed had left. Subconsciously, a tear escaped the edge of my right eye and the sinking emotions made their way through my body again. My depressive and defensive state returned and I felt like exploding.

Armstrong helped me off the car and we knocked on the entrance door. My granny came quickly to answer who was calling and gasped when she saw me with a defeated expression.

"Winry…" she said.

I knelt to her level and she embraced me tightly as I began to sob on her shoulder. I tried to muffle my cries so that the Major wouldn't hear them.

"They're—gone—granny." I sniffled.

"It's alright, Winry. Go ahead, let it out." She soothed.

Nothing seemed to make sense to me. Why was I acting like this? I get that I was in love with Edward, but was this really natural, like Riza had put it? Was I supposed to cry my eyes out if he wasn't near me?

I tried to be strong, to make my legs walk and move my body away from the door so the Major could come in, but it took all my strength to do just that. My tears fell from my face like rain drops on a leaking roof as I stood and made my way to my room. The desire was killing me inside. I needed to scream, to muffle that scream, to lose myself in the moment. My room looked so empty to me even if there were tools scattered across the floor, the ones I didn't pick up because of my laziness. Those tools, they reminded me so much of him. I used some of them on his arm and leg and my eyes just couldn't take the perspiration anymore.

I locked my room and placed my case on the opening edge so it wouldn't be opened before I walked to my bed and let myself drop almost dead and embrace the pillow to my face, dampening it with the salty liquid that clung to my blue irises. The sounds I could only hear were the ripping noises my chest would make. My sobs and heaves were that strong and loud, and desperate.

"Ed…ward, why did you…?" the question wasn't even given the chance to be completed since a stronger cry escaped my lips, harsher than before. Was this what people called depression? Because I couldn't find the way to stop crying. This was worse than when I found out my parents had been killed in the war in Ishbal. They weren't here because they were dead, so I couldn't really cry for them, I couldn't worry. They were in a better place. However, Edward? He was still alive, still breathing, still risking his life in a foreign world, so I could cry for him, I could worry. I didn't know what type of place he was in! Alphonse as well, but Al's his brother, one of my best friends. I didn't feel the same things I felt for Ed. It was a different kind of love. Something indescribable, something I couldn't explain. It would eat me up inside, haunt me at night, scare me in the day, depress me by the hour, taunt me by the minute, choke me by the second. I knew this wasn't a simple crush anymore. It developed way too fast, but in a way, I was glad. But, how could I be delighted about something such as this? I was glad that I was going to suffer or because I found a purpose to actually live for? Could I wait for Edward like I've done before? Could I live to do this? I wanted to since I still had hope. Edward's smart and he would find a way to get home, somehow. As long as I kept my faith, I would be alright. I believe in Edward and that's what I needed to survive. I needed to witness the day of his return with his brother, both in one piece, ready to hold me in his arms, ready to love me, ready to be mine.

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_I tried to mimic Stephenie Meyer's style for the dream. How'd you like that? Alright? Well, I hope everyone liked this one. It took long, but it's up. I'll try to update sooner. R/R,plz! Support is love! Thank you all!_

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	8. D i s t r a c t i o n

_Hello everyone and happy holidays! I'm sure you're wondering why it took me a year and some months to update, so I'll briefly explain. I've taken this story to a different direction. My plot has changed massively and the batch of characters I plan to include have somewhat increased. I also want you all to know that even if they are OCs, they aren't Mary/Gary Sues. And they'll help in the story line. I just hope that I'm able to write what I've been planning. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter and the ones soon to come._

_Thank you for reviewing 23ugottaluvit, kayy christine, Megsaku, Far From the Real Thing xD, BabyBee3, Laressa, and GenuineSmile. Here's to you and anyone who reads this! _

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_**Previously on In Love: Positive...**_

_As long as I kept my faith, I would be alright. I believe in Edward and that's what I needed to survive. I needed to witness the day of his return with his brother, both in one piece, ready to hold me in his arms, ready to love me, ready to be mine._

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**Distraction**

I felt so weak I could shatter at any moment. If I moved I would break. If I shifted, I would break. If I so much as shuffled, I would break. I was still embracing my pillow and it was drying slowly since my eyes had run out of tears to shed for the time being. Granny had come a while back to talk to me, but I just ended up blubbering.

_´I miss them, Granny, I really do.'_

'_You never know, Winry. They may come back.'_

'_What if they don't?'_

'_Let's just wait to see what happens.'_

'_But I want for them to be here now!'_

'_Winry, try to live your life calmly. Don't cry over the people that aren't here.'_

'_But they're alive…they're still breathing. I care for them so much.'_

'_Well, then, one of these days, they have to come back.'_

'_I just wish they'd not take so long.' _

'_Come downstairs to eat something.'_

'_I'm not hungry, Granny.'_

'_What's bothering you? Is it him?_

'_I regret not telling him…'_

'_What?'_

'…_that I love him.' _

She had brought me breakfast some time later, but it was untouched. I just couldn't bear my feebleness, the characteristic I never revealed. I felt so strange, letting myself out like this, letting Edward and Alphonse's departure wreck me. I sat up and reached for one of the bread slices that decorated the plate, but I just played with it and made little balls of carbohydrates and wheat. I smiled at my silliness and finally gave in to my sudden hunger and dug into the already cold meal. It was only a matter of time before tears glazed my eyes and escaped onto my cheeks to rain down on my bed again.

I don't know how the hell I calmed down, but I got myself downstairs in a perfect motion with a clean plate. Den was the first one to notice, and I guess he missed me because he began to bark with excitement and wagged his tail frantically. I scratched under his chin and brought his face next to mine to place a kiss on top of his head. At least I didn't have to talk to greet him, but I couldn't say the same for Granny or the Major, or others that would interact with me.

"Good morning, Winry," I heard her call from the kitchen. "We have a guest."

My eyes lit up and shined. Whenever she said that, she always meant a 'special guest', and she always used that for….Could it be him, that guest Granny spoke of? I ran toward the room she was in and had the disappointment of seeing for myself that it was not, in fact, Edward sitting in one of the dinning room chairs, but a girl with dark hair, pink bangs, and purple eyes. Her two year old child was in her arms, smiling up at her before he directed his attention to me.

"Good…morning," I said with full hesitation as I walked toward them. "Rose, what are you…doing here?" I didn't mean for the question to be offensive; I was curious.

"I came because Liore had a massive ground shake and the Major ordered me to come. It was so frightening," she closed her eyes as she finished her sentence.

After all she'd gone through, she still had to witness a quake like Central's. "I'm glad you're safe, Rose," it was difficult trying to keep a steady face and speak to her. I wonder if she knew of the brothers' departure. "You're not hurt, are you?"

"No scratch at all, thank you; luckily Major Armstrong and Al helped."

I gasped inwardly. She'd seen Al one last time as well? "I'm glad. Al's improvement was incredible and with the Major's alchemy, it must've been some show over there," I was being sincere, trying with all my strength to not let my voice crack. Just thinking about them made me want to….

"Yes, it…was. Winry," she began, "are you alright? Your eyes look…like you're cr—"

"I'm fine," I cut her off, blinking back irresistible tears. "I'm just worn out."

Rose shifted in her seat and fixed her eyes on my expression, scrutinizing my gaze for a few seconds. "Alright, if you say so," she answered.

I placed the dish I held in the sink and rinsed it, not having much energy to wash it and not lacking the endurance to handle the sudden tension in the room. Did she know already? I excused myself and walked toward the stairs again until I paused when I heard soft voices.

"It must be tough for her, not having them with her."

"I'm afraid to say that it's only the beginning of it all."

They were trying to whisper like I was trying to hide my tears, but neither of our attempts worked. I heard and I cried, but I was discreet on both subjects. The journey to my room was short and Den kept up with me, wanting to keep me company.

=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x=x

It was so…quiet. No noise whatsoever, except for Rose's baby whimpering once. I wished that…I didn't cry like one over a subject that was just so old to me. Edward and Alphonse leave, I stay here and wait, big deal. Now, if only I could paste that on my face. Why couldn't I mask it, damn it? Why, why was I like this? What happened to the normal Winry Rockbell that used to be me? Did the brothers take her with them, because she's not here with me? Den's blank stare was endless, wondering with his eyes what I was doing. Quite frankly, not even I knew what I was doing for a few seconds. I hugged the pillow and cried silently, but then, I tightened my grip. That's when _I _stared at him blankly. The poor pillow just ended up damp again and I placed it back in its original spot.

I shouldn't have been like I was: depressed and silent. I knew I couldn't help it, but it was a day after their departure. I waited for long periods of time, so why not stand it now? One that endures greatly is rewarded greatly, so that's what I would do. I couldn't let this situation bring me down. I couldn't. It just…wasn't me at all! I had to get my spirit back. I had to forget everything and distract myself. That's how I had been able to survive in the past. Work, I had to work. Looking around my room, I noticed my tools again. I should clean my room, or at least organize myself because if not it would all crash on me.

"Den," I addressed almost firmly, "help me tidy up. This place is a mess."

He barked in surprise and followed me as I began to gather my scattered tools. I made a few lists and started to categorize what went where and if I would be able to remember where I put them. But cleaning didn't take long. So I had to do something else because cleaning and rearranging my room would end too soon anyway. Work, work, work! Didn't granny keep a list of chores? There had to be things to do around here. No sitting down!

I heard Den bark again and saw that he pointed to his empty dog bowl. How long would it take to feed Den? He was a big dog, so I couldn't baby feed him, but I could watch him eat. No, that's ridiculous. I could cook. Make something for everyone. Something good that would make me feel better. 'Stew,' I wondered to myself, 'with carrots and noodles and cabbage.'

"Winry," I heard from behind me as I was taking the ingredients out.

"Hi, Rose," I greeted with a small smile.

"Do you need help?" she asked kindly.

'Did I need it?' I asked myself. "Sure," I answered. "I'm going to make stew."

"Oh, okay, just tell me what you want me to do," she offered.

I took her offer, but I didn't want to make her do too much. She was a guest and I had to keep my mind busy. I would be alright; I couldn't depend on others to complete me. I would hold on and just live, like granny said. As we cooked, we chatted about trivial subjects like how Resembool was so peaceful, how Liore had been reconstructed until recently, how her baby had grown, and how our automail business was doing.

Granny was the surprised one when she saw me in the kitchen and making small talk. Without making a word, she gathered plates and readied the table. The Major came in soon after and helped in what I ordered. Having this interaction was so blissful that I wished for it to never end. This could help me so much. Although I felt mindless and light, I was able to speak wholeheartedly and smile throughout our meal. When it was over, everyone helped out in cleaning and afterwards we took a break and went outside to watch the sunset.

As I patted Den's head, I saw his eyes gleam and I could see my reflection in them. _'I've missed them so much that it seemed so hard to handle. But this feels so easy…'_

'_Denial was the first step towards going insane'_, I heard a voice say. _'Acceptance is the next'_.

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_I know it's a little rushed and a bit random, but it's necessary. Everything that appears really is essential to the story as I said. R/R,plz! Support is love!_

_-Auto-_


	9. R u m b l e

_Howdy, y'all! I'm on vacation, finally! I've missed writing this story, so during my break I have made it my duty to continue with this. Besides creating videos, this will hold my attention. Anyways, thank you for reviwing AnimeCookie93, Kate McGinley, Far From the Real Thing xD, and NiceStories! Here's to you I hope you enjoy this and I hope it was worth the wait!_

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**_Summary:_ **

_Closing the gate wasn't as easy as it looked. What kept them going was dreams. She lived by seeing his face in her eyes; he tried returning because of the promise he made her. Separated for 4 years, could they come together again, even if worlds come between them?_

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**_Previously on In Love: Positive...  
_**

_He was standing next to me; we looked at each other and smiled as we began to calculate a plan to destroy the passageway back to our world, the place we will never see again with the girl I will never meet again. _

_Farewell Winry. I will miss you._

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**Rumble**

Al and I analyzed the gate as thoroughly as we could. I proposed an idea and we would automatically strip it of its contents, considering what the outcome would be and the possibility of actually doing it. Al said something and I filled in missing details that were needed to make sense. We did not take breaks thinking and wouldn't stop until we figured out an effective way to get rid of the gate, so there was no time to rest. Noah and the others stared at us as we concentrated and seemed like they didn't want to interrupt, but I knew they had the urge to ask questions and know what we were talking about.

Alchemy is easy if you know what it's about and what it seeks. Equivalent Exchange is its law, and if that law is fulfilled, the science is happy. If the science is happy, nothing terrible happens. It seeks balance and trade for materials to get something similar to what you offered in the first place. It is not magic or witch craft and it will never be those two things because there are no spells and no giant pots to mix potions with. It is all knowledge, concentration, and patience because if you don't know what you're doing, you'll screw up; if you're not concentrated, you'll miss something and screw up; and if you don't have the patience to wait, you'll disrupt something and then screw up. It is time consuming and requires reflexes as well. If you time it right, you'll be able to transmute when you react and vice versa. We just had to combine all these features to create a base for alchemy.

But at the moment, alchemy didn't have a base because in this world, alchemy was extinct. How would Al and I close the gate of _alchemy without_ alchemy? That didn't make sense. It was as if we were going against the law, like we wanted to cheat, or wanted a simple solution to a complex science that took time to decipher and took only competent minds to be able to wield such power.

That's when something clicked.

_A challenge without alchemy, _I thought. Well, to fight alchemy, we have to fight back with the same thing. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. Therefore, to lose alchemy, we must use alchemy. How else would we destroy a gate of a science that didn't exist in this world? Physics is the counterpart to it, but there is no flow or energy emitted from my palms when I bring them together. Alchemy has to cancel itself. It has to become one with itself.

"Al, I had an epiphany," I said.

Al's eyes widened as he smiled. "Well?"

Trying to absorb the plan as to not let it slip away, I faced my brother with a smirk. "We can't destroy it here. Alchemy doesn't exist, so it's not possible to get rid of something that isn't part of this world."

As I said this, Al's smile slowly died and his expression became dark. "I…thought you said you had it."

"You didn't let me finish," I corrected. "Alchemy is done once it passes that gate. But I know alchemy works behind that line. If we can use that space, as far as we can reach with what we have here, we'll be able to do it."

Now, _my_ smirk disappeared. Alphonse wasn't lost—far from that—but his expression seemed like his joy declined. "That's crazy, brother."

"Think about it, Al. No alchemy here means 'No can do'. We have to use alchemy where it _can_ be used, where the gate _can_ be summoned, and where it _can_ be destroyed. It's logical."

I gave my brother some time to process this information until Al recuperated and saw the light in the idea. "It's still a crazy idea." This time, he answered with his smile.

"Crazy ideas tend to work ninety-five of the time," I noted.

"What about the other five percent of ideas that don't work?"

I thought for a second. "What _about_ them? We've been doing foolish actions since we were kids and they haven't failed yet." Of course, after I said that, I remembered the night of the failed transmutation. Well, maybe that was part of the percentage error for wild ideas, but the rest have worked out fine. "What do you say?"

Al thought for another second. "You're crazy for thinking that, but I'm crazier for following you."

And with that, we got to work. I didn't want to make the others feel like I was the boss, but my idea was full proof. We could make this work and the way to do that was to order everyone else around for now. I told the ones who could to move the large platforms and to lower them so we could get on. I had to be able to control the lever, or have someone I could trust to move the lever so that we wouldn't be killed if we were somehow struck by the gate's electricity. We had to move everything to make space, and the machinery wasn't exactly light. We had to move all the wires and metal bars in case we fell and also the pieces of unfinished model rockets. With the materials out of the way, Al and I could proceed to closing the gate.

If I could trust anyone in this world with my life, it would most probably be Alfons, but he was no longer with us. I trusted Al, but I needed his help to close the gate. Although I should trust her, I wouldn't give Noah the job. I know I shouldn't keep grudges, but she…betrayed me. I don't forgive so easily when people misuse my trust. I was sure as hell not going to trust Haushofer or Hess. Those two could either go to hell or die for all I cared. That left Hughes…. He would have to do. I realized that even if people's personalities were different and their appearances may be a little off, people in this world still had the same souls as the people from my world. I noticed from Alfons how he was similar to Al. He was the calm one, the reasonable one, the person that kept me at bay and out of trouble. Alfons didn't treat me like a brother, but he sure as hell acted like Al so much that he really was like my temporary brother. So even though Hughes sided with the side I thought was wrong, he still had the same soul. He was still the same helpful, loving father I knew from Amestris. He was still the person that wanted to improve his country and would do anything to help it. That explained his acceptance of the party he was in, sort of like the way he was trying to find something about the Philosopher's Stone that would help us. It was a strange analogy, but Hughes was Hughes and he would definitely help us. That's why I trusted him with the lever.

And truth be told, Al trusted him, too. I couldn't say no to my little brother after he waited so long to be with me.

We readied ourselves on the platform as it went up. If this was going to be our last transmutation, we had to do it right. This had to be the most badass thing we would do with alchemy, so we have better not screw it up.

"Ed, are you sure about this?" Hughes called from the control area.

"We won't be sure unless we try," I answered with confidence. I felt the energy and the flow, even the pulse of the damn thing Al and I obeyed for many years.

The platform stopped at the very edge of the opened gate. For once, I could see it clearly: its yellow electrical flow and the black arms that swung as they prepared to grab on to something. I knew that the moment we initiated this plan it would be dangerous. That's why I was ready for anything. Besides what was there to lose? The black arms darted at us, but in a split second, we went to work and brought our hands together. We had to avoid having them cross to the other side so as to make it simpler for us to close this thing. Therefore, we closed off most of the exit, leaving a space so that we could slide through when we finished. And our alchemy worked. But it seemed amplified and more defined. This alchemy was…like magic. It was so swift and quick, and it made our previous alchemy look so rusty. To say the least, with our alchemical blows the black hands diminished. I didn't expect that, but I hoped that was a good sign.

With some of our path cleared, we could concentrate better and continue with our task. Starting from the endless edges, we each took half of the circular area and began to will it towards us, solidifying the matter that seemed impossible to do. But then again, anything was possible. I noticed, however, a flaw in this plan. And it looked like a reflux. The gate turned red. If I remembered my colors right, I would have to say that red was not as bad as it sounded, but it wasn't the best color to be in. If we could evade the purple glow, we would be safer than usual. But what was wrong? What was I missing? What did I not think of…? Oh.

"Brother," Al called, a distant voice in the long, hollow area, "we need something."

I thought for a moment. What could be so important that we missed? "Ah, damn it," I growled. I looked around frantically. This gate really was amplified; I could not only use my alchemy better, but I could also hear the conversations going on under the gate. The voices sounded amazed. But at the moment, those voices couldn't help. They were as useful to me as a corpse was to a trapped idiot.

A trapped idiot. I looked at Al and thought for a moment. He had said he opened the gate using Wrath…as a sacrifice. And Eckhart had opened the gate…using Envy and my dad.

"No damn way," I murmured. For a moment, I didn't like _this_ epiphany.

"Al, we have to go down!" I shouted.

He turned to me with wide eyes, realizing what I must have realized myself.

He nodded and headed for the opening we left as I monitored from above that none of the black arms would rain down at us. With a cleared path, we decided to make our own path to lead us to where we thought would be some of Envy's remains, if there were any. Of course! If a homunculus was used to open the gate, it made sense to close it with a homunculus. But what if we didn't find a piece of him?

We landed on the opposite ends of the circular level.

"Search for remains!" I told Al, who had not hesitated to begin picking up the large cover that was used to hide Envy.

If there was anything: scrapes, scales, even hair, it would surely do. But we had to work quickly.

"What's wrong, Ed?" I heard Hughes call.

"We need a homunculus," I answered, not expecting him to know what that was.

"A homunc-what?" he asked.

Then I heard Noah begin to explain to him what it was. At least that bought me some explaining time. As I searched, I found some disturbing things. Besides my old man's corpse, I found red lights coming from under the large cover, next to his body. Al found some, too, but I couldn't believe how the hell those would end up here of all places. How could Philosopher's Stones be here? I was paralyzed and enraged. We searched for so long to find them in the world that didn't even consider the science to exist. It's not given credit and it's ironic that the red stone was here.

A black hand began to screech, and that brought me back to the current situation. It was either the stones or the gate. And I didn't have time to waste. Neither did Al, and I was glad that we were able to think at the same pace and in the same level. We jumped onto our disintegrating paths and we were able to reach the gate again.

The black hands began to come again and we had to block them. I didn't want to use these because I would be using people, but I wouldn't be able to close the gate right. And the stones came close to equaling a homunculus, since they gave them life when they took them in.

Red mixed with red in a second. Without thinking, Al and I used the stones and the black hands began to disappear. And the gate began to solidify itself. The yellow glow became white and a greater force than a tornado suddenly pushed us down. The solid part of the gate began to come down, along with fire and a snaking black hand.

"Brother!" Al called. "It's fire!"

I smirked. "The General works quickly," I answered. I wonder how long it took for those fireballs and blasts to get here.

As we were pushed down, I didn't notice the black hand's direction and it clashed with my forehead. The only surprise was that I did not see flashing images flooding my mind and filling my brain as the first time I was touched by the gate. I saw Winry. Just her and no one else. And then, I understood what I really had to give up. It wasn't just saying I would never see her again, but I would have to sacrifice more than just her. I would probably lose my memories of her, or worse, I would be mocked by her missing presence. What did the gate want from me? What did it want me to give up?

What seemed like an eternity finally released me and the great force pushed me. I did not realize that Al was calling for me desperately to be released from the black hand's clash so we could get to the opening we had left. When I was pushed next to him, we clapped our hands and transmuted the remaining stones to conclude our plan, making the gate close before our eyes, but we couldn't rejoice. The great force was too much, even without the amplitude, and it almost caused us to miss our landing. By luck, we were able to grab on the edge of the railings of the circular level where we found the remains as the ceiling glowed shut.

I was in a state of shock. My plan had worked. I have no idea what part it was that succeeded, but it was closed. So why couldn't I be proud of that?

As Al and I swung ourselves to the platform, which was difficult to do now that I thought about it, we felt a shake. That was not a good sign. The glowing ceiling glowed purple and I began to worry. I looked at Al, who had a panicked expression and signaled him to swing himself to the platform. But as we tried, there was another shake and it lasted longer than the first.

"Ed," Hughes called, "your brother and you have to get down now!"

We couldn't land on the platform safely. If we did, we would have surely fallen and I didn't want to know what condition we would be in if we landed on the hard hanger floor. However, we couldn't keep hanging on to the railing because it would most likely collapse with the quake. Then, I tried a crazy thing: I swung myself and risked everything to get on the platform. For one thing, I was glad that I wasn't a bulky person because my balance would have been off and I wouldn't have made it to the silver squared plate. But after I reassured my stance, despite the rumbling, I signaled Al to swing the way I did to get to the lesser dangerous of the three spots he could reach. Once we were together, Hughes managed to bring the platform down in time for us to get to the safe location where everyone was, and before pieces of surrounding materials and the ceiling began to collapse where we had stood.

However, when we took the final step to join the cautious group, the earthquake stopped. The result was the destruction of the ceiling, the last remain of Amestrian alchemy.

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_Alright, hard part's done! Now I need enthusiasm. I'll be back really soon (this time I promise) with a new chapter! For those of you who are wondering about my _** n_ & _ **_series, I'll most likely update one of the two on Sunday, or the latest on Friday. Anyways, I'll see you in the next chapter! R/R, plz! Support is love!  
_

_XOXO -Auto-_


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